I'm startin' a band. Who's in??? The only requirement is you have to be able to grow a handlebar mustache. I don't care if you can play an instrument or not. Just have to grow that handlebar mustache. Fuck, i don't care if you can even HOLD an instrument.
I'm hoping to find someone who recorded the full Circle Jerks set at the Vic in Chicago in 2022. Negative Approach and 7 Seconds opened for them. The whole show was amazing, as usual. But it's the Circle Jerks set I'm looking for. I can't remember which song they were playing at the time. I DO know that It was closer to the end of their set. I got off a gnarly stage dive and I'd really like to see it. I was all Secret Squirrel at it, too. I had to get security to look away from me and she wasn't going. So, I grabbed a five dollar bill from my pocket, scrunched it up into a ball and tossed it behind her, without letting her see, of course. I then waved at her to get her attention then pointed behind her at the fiver on the floor and motioned to say, "Did you drop that?" Right away I could tell she knew something wasn't right. But I was pretty convincing with my silent motioning communications and, succeeded in getting her to turn around and pick up the five. THE TIME HAD COME!!! If I didn't seize that very moment, the whole endeavor would have gone to shit......... And I'd be out of five bucks for nothing 🤨 So, like a flash (or as much as an out of shape 49 year old with a bum leg could move "like a flash") I was up and over that stupid little space between the crowd and the stage landing on my feet about 10"es from Greg Getson. With super James Brown fancy footwork, I glided across that stage and after about 7 or 8 steps, I took flight and with a half turn landed on top of the crowd on my back for a picture perfect landing. Or that's how I remember it anyways. I mean the whole 5 dollar switcheroo happened, fer sure. The rest would probably be more accurately described as an overweight middle aged drunk man got on stage, took one step, fell flat on his face and was fired off into the crowd by the bouncers.......... Either way, I wanna see it!!!
And while we're at it, I need a recording of the full Dwarves show at the Blue Note in Chicago in 2004??? 2005??? Or 2006??? Or just the part where I got on stage and sang the chorus of "I WILL DENY" Another super cool epic and legendary performance of mine........ Or otherwise 😒