Hi NICU parents, new NICU nurse here. I was wondering how you generally like to be given updates?
I am a newer NICU nurse with about 6 months of experience. I am so grateful to be working in the NICU- it’s my dream job! It is a true, wholehearted privilege to be entrusted with the care of your sweet baby/babies. I hope it’s alright that I popped into this subreddit to ask this question.
For context, I work in a level 3 NICU, and so I work with children with a wide range of conditions, but are typically not in very critical condition. If we have a more unstable baby or a baby who requires greater medial needs, they will usually be transferred to a level 4 NICU from our NICU. That is not to say that we do not have very ill babies on our unit. But often, they are on the way to going to a step down unit or even discharging home. I see babies who are working on eating whole bottles and babies who can only eat through a feeding tube or cannot eat at all (IV nutrition). Like I said, a pretty big range of conditions and acuity.
I have seen different nurses give updates differently especially over the phone. Many nurses start by saying “they are doing well…” which is usually true in our eyes. Sometimes I wonder if this can seem falsely reassuring or misleading. That statement typically means, at least to me, that they are stable and without changes from their current condition, maybe even seeming content or just overall having a good day for them (no signs of pain/discomfort, no events, no vomiting, no unexpected things, etc.). After this statement, most nurses continue with more specific information about baby’s day/night and their current vitals or updated weight and might further clarify what their version of “doing well” means.
How do you prefer to receive updates? is saying that your baby is “doing well/good/great” too flippant or does it negatively affect your trust in us if you see that your child is still experiencing expected symptoms for prematurity, feeding intolerance, etc.? Would you like us to be more detailed, or less detailed? What do you always want to hear, and what are things you don’t usually want to hear in your updates?
Many times parents ask for updates in a way that is open ended. “Hi, I’m just calling to see how _ is doing.” which is fine, but it does have us lead with our own perspectives of our shift so far with baby. Sometimes I am unsure if you want to hear if your baby has had multiple events if that is common and expected for them recently. I am unsure if you want me to tell you that they pooped a lot and now their bottom is a little more red than before. I am unsure if these details are too much or unnecessarily stressful. Of course, I will always share big changes (or your provider will) with you in earnest and answer any and all concerns to the best of my ability.
When I speak with you about your little one, I want to be optimistic and hopeful with you. I want to share your excitement over all the little and big victories. But I also want to mindful of giving you realistic and honest information.
Please share your thoughts in this if you are comfortable. I am always looking to make your and your baby’s stay in the NICU as comfortable and safe (and as short!) as possible. I want to be a nurse you can trust and that you feel comfortable with caring for your sweet baby.
If you’re a NICU parent reading this, I wish you and your baby/babies nothing but the best. I’m so sorry you have to be in the NICU. You are so strong. I’m cheering you and your little one on!