I didn't expect motherhood to feel so lonely.
My son is now over a year old, but he was born at 31 + 6 after I PPROMed at 28 + 5. He spent 33 days in the NICU before coming home. All things considered, we are very fortunate that he is doing well. My frustration lies in the challenges we've been facing and the fact that no one in my circle seems to understand or relate. My son has already completed 6 months of physical therapy and just started both speech and occupational therapy. He is just slightly delayed in language and really struggling with solids. Food has been an ongoing battle for many months. I worry about his progress and how much of it is related to his prematurity. When we have really tough days, I have a very hard time regulating my emotions. The stress feels overwhelming. I've read about how NICU parents are in survival mode for so long that their emotions finally surface long after they leave the hospital. Many of my friends who are moms just can't relate. I'm met with "oh, that's weird" when describing my emotions, my concerns shrugged off, or friends who just haven't experienced the challenge I'm facing so they have no input whatsoever. It feels like they have everything figured out, even though I know that's not fair or true. I have a village around me, but I didn't think I would still feel so isolated in our situation.