How to stop being pushed out by dogs.......
Any thoughts from anyone around if my 'boogie man pattern' is a real life circumstance that keeps repeating..? Can't really walk away from my home environment ....Me, 43f, finding myself being forced to live with 2 dogs and I'm severely allergic to dogs, and cats grass smoke dust, I'm allergic to my neighborhood. This happened in my childhood from 5-15 yrs old and absolutely out of my control, Mom and abusive stepdad had me be the maid to our 2 cats and 2 dogs and household. Many hospital trips, couldn't breath. took 2 hours to get my breathing steady just this morning. My partner, of 8 years, is the one forcing me to live with them as he is adamant that they're not leaving, and he seems to be ok with me being jazzed out on medicines and not breathing well.... I understand that a seemingly easy answer would be to leave. Life circumstances do not make that so easy. Praying for miracles (cause I know they're real happenings. )
For me, this is a major negative pattern repeating where I'm supposed to be learning to stick up for myself. I have. And I do. In this current situation and on the morning of my 15th birthday - stood up to stepdad, no support from mom, and left. I have expressed and expressed and expressed. Not a good fit. I might die from not being able to breath. Pretty straight forward physical reality truths here. And he loves me...yet is choosing the dogs...I have calmly and clearly talked these aspects out loud with him. When I have asked if he is aware and ok with me suffering , he shows big eyes and says nothing. His actions are my answer. oblivious to my vessel's sensitivities. Feel like my only option is to ride it out to my death bed. Any input is appreciated as far as me not being placed below the worth of 2 dogs ....and if anyone can make sense of my partner's behaviors ..so confusing. Oh. Input about compromising and keeping the house clean- please do not waste my time here, as I've lived and breathed it since I was 4. I clean. He cleans. It does not reduce my body's allergic reactions, they are steadily getting thicker and worse(lungs, head, throat, whole body)
Advice thru out the past 4 months....spirit is wanting you to do something you don't want to...spirit wants you to lean in. I lean in. My heart loves regardless. I love and serve all while doing my best to take care of me. And everyday I am suffering. And imo, the 2 dogs are suffering as well, not living with a person who can be with them 24/7, they're being neglected imo and partner doesn't see that. I lean still. Take the medicines. Stay calm thru barely being able to get air in. Isolate myself in areas of the house not totally covered in dog hair.
Yesterday marks 4 months of them being with us and taking over my whole home/property and my partner it seems. Any hope for me with my guy?