Really torn between two engineering jobs and my partner’s reaction to one of them (defence industry)
Apologies in advance guys, not trying to spam with personal content but just felt I can get insights from people who do the same work/those I can relate to.
I’ve recently interviewed for two inspector roles in the UK and I’m genuinely torn between them for very different reasons.
Company 1 is a huge defence manufacturer. The interview honestly fascinated me. They had one of the biggest double-probe gantry ZEISS CMMs I’ve ever seen, loads of advanced equipment, strong training culture, opportunities to travel to Germany/France for knowledge exchange, and pathways into production/manufacturing engineering or quality engineering later on. The first CMM I ever touched in my career was a ZEISS, and working in defence/aerospace environments was always something I admired growing up in India. The company is also very established, close to home, good salary/benefits, early finishes, solid work-life balance etc.
Company 2 is almost the opposite. Smaller medical/moulding company, tiny team, highly specialised work with nano-level surface finishes, long hours but flexi culture/overtime, and a lot of room to grow and become deeply involved. Management also seemed genuinely interesting and invested in development. Commute is harder though sometimes.
The bigger issue is the ethical side of defence work and how it’s affecting my relationship.
My partner is strongly against military involvement and previously left a consulting role because of work connected to defence. Since I interviewed with Company 1, they’ve been extremely emotional and concerned that I don’t feel the same level of moral conflict they do.
What makes this difficult is that I do understand the ethical concerns. At the same time, I come from a background where defence/government engineering work was viewed very differently. I’ve worked with government organisations before and always saw things like armoured vehicles, bridge systems, logistics etc as also having humanitarian/disaster-relief applications alongside military ones.
I’m trying to figure out:
how people here view working in defence companies
whether engineers/inspectors in these environments wrestle with this morally
I also feel conflicted because part of me thinks healthy relationships should allow room for different values and boundaries without emotional pressure becoming overwhelming.
Would appreciate honest perspectives, especially from people who’ve worked in defence, medical, aerospace, manufacturing etc.
I’m still waiting for the outcome next week but I just feel so drained by my partner.