My job is not letting us express ourselves.
This has been on my mind for a hot minute and I’ve been wondering what subreddit to talk about this on, and I felt like this was the best spot since the community here is always so welcoming. This is also less of an advice post and more of a “i just wanna vent” post.
For context, I am 18, nonbinary, got shoulder length curly hair, and I have a very expressive look. I tend to wear fun makeup, and fun crochet bandannas (this is important).
The place that I work at is a giant entertainment venue. Think Dave & Busters but with a bigger arcade, bowling, pool tables, and laser tag. As a customer, it’s great. Food and drinks are great, games and bowling are always fun, all around a great entertainment venue.
I work as a restaurant host for this place, and have been working as one for 10 months. And for the first few months, they were pretty cool. I was worried they’d have things to say about me having fun makeup or hair coverings, but as I got to know the space, I learned that they didn’t really care. So for the first seven I wore my shimmery eyeshadow, and cute crochet bandannas. I particularly like the bandannas because I’m required to have my hair pulled back because I work with food, and the bandannas do that very well. It helps because my curls can be a pain in the ass, and constantly having to pull my hair back isn’t great for them. And unless I drown my hair in gel, it’ll get so puffy and frizzy by the end of my shift. But with my bandannas, I can pull my hair back without having to strain it with a hair tie or drench it with product. And a plus, it was a way for me to be a little expressive with our boring uniforms.
Now, as of about two-ish months ago, they came to me personally and said I can’t wear my bandannas and colorful makeup anymore. This came after a surprise visit from the CEO of the company, and unfortunately he saw many things he didn’t like. One of things just so happened to be my fun aesthetic.
The dress code we have has a few rules on it. Things like: If working in the restaurant, hair must be pulled back; hair color must be a natural color; offensive tattoos must be covered; etc. But no where on the dress code did it say makeup must conservative, and hair must not be covered. They also started enforcing rules about facial piercings, which also was not stated in the dress code.
I don’t want to start some kind of conspiracy theory, but the only employees that this affects are the alternative ones. Many employees that found ways to express themselves are now not able to do so. And we work at an entertainment venue for christ’s sake, and your telling me that the employee aren’t able to look a little fun?
My makeup and bandannas are not keeping me from doing my job correctly. In fact they are giving me the gender euphoria I look for. My hair is something that can easily affect my gender dysphoria, and if my hair is looking all frizzy like it does when not wearing a head covering, it can get in the way of my performance. My job is to be a restaurant host that’s welcoming, extroverted, and positive. And struggle to be those things when I’m feeling dysphoric.
They were chewed out by the CEO so bad that every small thing that he didn’t like was immediately “fixed.” And I guess one of those things that needed fixing was the alternative employees looking alternative. One of the managers even quit because of this. She felt like the space wasn’t letting the employees express themselves, and didn’t want to represent them anymore.
This whole thing is probably not the biggest deal in the world, and they do have the right to enforce company policy. But it felt weird that they started enforcing these new policies after the CEO complained.
Thanks for letting me complain about my job, let me know what you think, and also tell me if i might be blowing this out of proportion.
The general manager is planning on doing one-on-ones with all the employees to check in on the morale, and i will be mentioning this. In fact, a lot of employees will be mentioning it. I’ll update if he makes changes after the one-on-ones.