I wish I didn't identify so much with Evan Hansen...
"I wish that everything was different. I wish that I was a part of something. I wish that anything I said... mattered to anyone. I mean, face it: would anybody even notice if I disappeared tomorrow?
Sincerely, your best and most dearest friend, Me."
When I first heard those words, tears started streaming down my face, because that's exactly how I felt and still feel. For the first time, I was seeing a character who suffers from the same things I suffer from. This excerpt from the letter and the entire lyrics of "Waving Through a Window" affected me in an inexplicable way. I could see a lot of myself in Evan, I can perfectly imagine myself in the situation he got himself into and all his mistakes, all his lies, and all his cowardice, even his moments of explosion. Honestly, I think the only difference between me and him is that I wouldn't take the lie so far, I would just let people forget about Connor and let the Murphys believe we were friends but without keeping in touch with them. I know exactly what he feels and why he did what he did, and that's why I get so upset when I see someone saying he's a manipulative sociopath or a great villain. And yes, I suffer from social anxiety and depression, and my mother also stuffs me with medication because of it, so I understand that identifying with Evan Hansen is not a positive thing, and that's why I didn't want to identify with him so much.
Anyway, it was just a small rant. Now I have to take care of myself so I don't make a big mistake like him.