Since becoming a mom, I’ve lost myself
I have no clue if this is an appropriate place to post this or not. My apologies if not. I just need to throw this into the abyss I suppose.
I just was talking with a family member and they randomly said “you’re a mom. But you’re still (my name) too.”
And for some reason, that just made me catch my breath... I think I may have completely forgotten that I’m a person also. My kids are still young and I do probably 90% of the child care, so it’s a big part of my life. But I have no clue when I forgot that I too am a human. I forgot I had needs. I deeply want to be a good parent, I invest so much mental and physical energy on it, and I constantly feel like I fall short. I have always been told I’m a perfectionist, and definitely I would love to be a “perfect” parent… but that just doesn’t exist. And I wonder if it all feels so hard because I just totally forgot myself in this process? And is that even good for kids? How can I teach them to care about their own wellbeing if I don’t model that behavior?
And aside from parenting, I had a good career. I had hobbies. I did SO much. I have three degrees including graduate degrees. I had a high paying job I left to stay with my kids while they were young. I had interests. I loved to think and read and write. I have published works… and now, I feel like my brain is a bowl of oats. Honestly, I feel dumb. I feel like a shell of that girl. Who I used to be feels so far removed now, like it was a totally separate life. I don’t understand how I got here? How did I completely lose myself? How did I quite literally forget that I am an individual person?
Has anyone else experienced this? What did you do?