Struggling after unexpectedly intense session
Hello everyone,
6 days ago, I settled in for what I thought would be a typical session with my typical dose. I use 300mg troches at home, and have been undergoing once-weekly treatment for about 2.5 months.
However, the experience ended up being a lot stronger than any I have had prior. I dissociated more heavily, and it scared me a lot. I have a lot of difficulty letting go, which is part of what I hoped the ketamine would help.
I did not see anything scary, but at one point I felt like I was looking at ocean waves, while simultaneously being aware that I was the waves I was looking at. For whatever reason, this really freaked me out.
That night and the day after, I felt pretty typical as far as post-ketamine goes. However, since then I have had intense and constant anxiety, which is causing me to dissociate during the day. I know that anxiety and dissociative visual distortions feed on attention, but it’s been very difficult for me to just sit with them and let them pass, especially as I’m approaching a week past that experience now.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? I don’t know if I should try again for my usual weekly session with a lower dose, or just hold off indefinitely until I can get back to baseline. I am struggling a lot with the “forever” feeling, even though logically I know this will pass if I let it.