I love donating blood but it sickens me
22f O-, from Italy, I started donating blood about two years ago and every time I get really grossed out and anxious and I almost faint, last time I even started shivering and couldn't stop.
I know it's a normal bodily reaction, but I'm not a first timer and my body always reacts as if I've never done this before. It's frustrating because I attract all attention and I wish I could just be like every other donor in the room and get up and have a coffee after donating, but no, I need the male nurse to put my feet up on a box and everyone Is watching the frail woman being babied like a pale victorian lady.
To make things worse my half sister's a nurse at the blood clinic and she once told me that nurses make fun of the ones like me behind their back. And I get it, to them is a normal day of work and I'm a classic inconvenience, and as long as they are kind upfront (which they've been) it's fine , but I can't help but wish I could be more "chill" when donating. Also, being afraid to react like that and make a fool of myself doesn't help my anxiety.
I drink plenty of water, I contract my leg muscles during the process and I never look at the needle, but I still feel anxious in the pit of my stomach and I always almost faint.
My transfusion center just called to ask me to donate as the 0- reserves are low, but I'm (pretty selfishly) scared... Any advice?