Feeling really lost on what to do next…
Hi everyone,
I’m 22 and from New Zealand, and honestly I’m feeling pretty lost about what to do next.
I used to do modelling in New Zealand and Japan. I wouldn’t say I’m good-looking enough to make it a long-term career, even though it’s always been my dream.
I’ve spent about the last year travelling around China trying to find opportunities, mainly in modelling and livestreaming (直播). I’ve had a lot of interviews, but I’d say about 90% have been a complete waste of time. A surprising number of companies either don’t understand the visa process or think foreigners can just work on a tourist visa or while studying. Even after I explain it, they just tell me it’ll be fine, which I’m obviously not willing to risk.
One thing that has gone well is my Chinese. I’ve never actually studied it or even opened a textbook, but after living here for so long I can hold conversations pretty comfortably. My reading and writing are terrible because I’ve never learned them properly, although I can type using pinyin.
I graduated from the University of Auckland last year with a Bachelor of Science (Statistics & Psychology) and a Bachelor of Commerce (Marketing & International Trade). During university I worked for about six months as a research analyst covering consumer behaviour for a national media company. I’ve also studied abroad at Keio University in Japan and Korea University in South Korea, and completed an internship in Thailand.
Lately I’ve been based in Hangzhou, but I’d happily move to Shanghai, Changsha, Chengdu or Chongqing.
Most of my friends here work in creative industries—models, photographers, fashion designers or streamers—which is probably why I’d really like to stay somewhere around fashion, beauty, media or online content. At the same time, I know I’m competing with local graduates, so I’m trying to be realistic. The idea of an extremely corporate work environment would just bore me to death. Teaching English is also a last resort - I’m not particularly interested.
A few days ago my best friend in China died by suicide. That completely knocked me sideways, and since then I’ve honestly had no idea what direction I should be taking.
The reality is I can’t keep staying in China without some sort of stable income. More than anything, I just want to find a legal way to stay here. Going back to New Zealand is something I desperately want to avoid, and I’m trying to figure out every possible alternative before it comes to that.
I’ve thought about doing a master’s, a PhD, or maybe just studying Chinese for a year, but I’d probably need a scholarship to make that possible.
Has anyone been in a similar situation, or have any suggestions? Maybe there’s a path I’m overlooking.
I’d really appreciate any advice.