u/Practical_Yogurt1559

I've read so many fantasy books that handle romance poorly. Even in posts that ask for good romance, I've seen recommendations that I've read but that I don't consider to be romantic at all.

​​I'm usually not even explicitly looking for romance, most of what I read doesn't feature romances. But when there is a romance I want it to be good, and it so rarely happens. ​

I think this is partly a Romantasy issue (they're rarely romantic at all from my experience), but regular fantasy with romance subplots are just as bad.

What makes a romance good is of course highly subjective, but to me it means:

• No love at first sight.
• No lust at first sight.
• Several meaningful interactions between the characters that don't directly relate to the romance (building their connection before they fall in love).
• Good chemistry between the characters.
• The relationship feels earned, not just like something that is there for the sake of it.
• It should be clear why they love each other and it should show in their actions. ​

Here are some books that have been celebrated for their romance that aren't romantic at all IMO:

• The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon
• Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros
• The Floating World by Axie Oh
• The Jasmine Throne by Tasha Suri
• Paladin's grace by T Kingfisher
• A Marvellous Light by Freya Marske
• The Scholomance by Naomi Novik
• Legends and Lattes by Travis Baldree
• The Everlasting by Alix E Harrow

And here are some books I think did it well:

• Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones
• Sorcery and Small Magics by Maiga Doocy

Am I just too picky? Do you have any suggestions for books that you think fit my criteria? Or do you have a completely different take on romance in fantasy?

I'm doing an LGBTQIA+ card for the r/Fantasy bingo, and I'm having trouble finding a book for the translation square which has the requirement: "Story has been translated from a language you don’t read or speak."

What I'm looking for:  A book published in the last ten years that has queer representation. The original language cannot be English, Swedish or Spanish as those are the languages I speak.

Happy ending is required, no urban fantasy and no magical realism. I'm not interested in danmei, I tried it and it wasn't for me. I also don't want to read a manga or a graphic novel. 

The type of representation doesn't matter, but it should preferably be a main character who is queer, not a side character. I'll take a side character if I can't find anything else though.

I'm back with some more one star reviews from goodreads. Can you guess the books?

Check my post history if you missed part 1 and 2 and want to do them.

Answers will be posted in an hour or so.

1.

“Pain barked through my bones.”

. . . Must I say more? I admit that I liked this at first because of the trashy romance (and I'm a hoe for trashy romance) BUT technically, this book is shit. The prose was filled with too many adjectives, the characters were irrational and bland, and the relationships were toxic. And it's barely a Beauty and the Beast Retelling retelling. Good luck to anyone reading this, because you'll wish you didn't!

2.

This is the story of upper class teenagers in a haunted house and the poor bastards that have to service them. It’s told from the point of the view of an abused servant who vacillates between wrath and slavish hope for appreciation.

It was depressing.

It was an unlabeled YA.

It was wall to wall teenagers.

I want my time back!

3.

Nothing happens. Then, nothing happens. And then, oh! nothing happens. Something (trite) happens.

Daddy issues. Daddy issues. Ms. Exposition comes in. Our characters journey with her because ... reasons.

Nothing happens. Travelling, travelling, travelling. Something stupid happens. Taverns, Taverns, Taverns. Something random happens. Nothing happens.

Fret, teen angst, fret. Happy reunion. More travelling.

Daddy issues. Exposition, exposition, exposition. Daddy issues.

REPETITION. REPETITION. REPETITION.

Big Bad defeated-but-not-really because ... reasons?

The End (clichéd and predictable as you please).

Please, PLEASE remind me again why this pile of uninspired, monotonous, and poorly written crap—not that there is any other kind of crap that I know of—is a best-seller with a cult-following?

4.

I had fond memories of this from when I read it as a child, so when I spied my neighbour's complete collection, I thought I would give them a go. I didn't read much fantasy when young, save for Lord of the Rings and these, but I've been reading a hell of a lot after I turned thirty. So, I look upon this with an adult's eye and pronounce it garbage.

I missed all the religious connotations when younger, but they are more obvious now. The story is paltry, the writing is twee (borrowed that from a critic at the New Yorker), and it is sparse, especially compared to the grand epics of modern writers, or, even when they don't create epics, the details and creativity of modern fantasy writers.

I won't say it is child abuse to give this to your kids, but try to avoid [book].

5.

This is one of the first fantasy novels I ever read as a child and at the time it blew my mind. It had everything: action, adventure, and talking animals. As a grownup I recognize the clunky dialog, impossible scenarios, and strangely fast mood swings of the main characters make this book is so bad it's almost good again. Almost. It doesn't help that the author espouses and demonstrates values and attitudes that are, at best, outdated while his depiction of "savage" sparrows is outright offensive. Racist much? Yikes.

6.

An overrated jock is really good at a fucked up game of catch

7.

Reading this book felt exactly like listening to someone tell you - in excruciating detail - all about the crazy dream they had last night. Poorly structured, grasping at meaning (unsuccessfully), and just so, so uninteresting.

8.

I'm having trouble enjoying this book as it feels constantly racist to me. There is no escape from the constant reminders that people with Anglo features are the superior race and people of color, indigenous, and Black people (even if they have red stripes) are either the good, docile slaves or the dregs of society or the wild savages trying to kill the whites.

Answers

>!1. A court of thorns and roses!<

>!2. Gideon the ninth !<

>!3. The eye of the world !<

>!4. The lion, the witch and the wardrobe !<

>!5. Redwall !<

>!6. The philosopher's stone !<

>!7. Piranesi !<

>!8. The way of kings!<

If you're a big fan of the books, you can skip this review. I don't want to yuck on anyone's yums, and this review is very negative.

If you haven't read the book, skip this review. It's full of spoilers.

I must say, I had high hopes for this book but ended up very disappointed. So this is mainly a critique of what I did not like. It wasn't a completely awful book, but the bad far outweighs the good for me.

I realize that a lot of people who are big fans of the books and who have read the whole series several times will comment on this about how I'm wrong about things and didn't understand certain details etc. I'm fully prepared to be accused of having poor reading comprehension skills and that's fine with me.

I'm also very aware of the phrase: "maybe it just wasn't for you". And yes, that is in fact true. This book wasn't for me. And in this review I will explain exactly why it wasn't for me. I'm happy for anyone who loves this book though. I wish I could be one of you.

Finally, before I get into it, this was written on my phone, so sorry for any typos or formatting issues.

>!The narration!<

>!I don't particularly mind second person narration when it's done for a good reason. In this case, I'm not sure it was for a good reason. It was obvious from the beginning that it was Gideon who was narrating (because who else could it be?). But it's still treated as if it's a mystery. What bothers me about this is that Gideon has a super distinct voice, one of the most unique voices I've read in a long time. But the book isn't narrated in her voice even though it's supposed to be her. At least not until she shows up and it's "revealed" that she's the narrator, then the voice shifts to be what we know from the previous books. (There are some hints, like when she corrects sword terminology etc, but those read as clues, not as Gideon's voice). This makes it feel like a cheap trick to try to shock the reader rather than a logical choice for the narration. This is especially egregious in the audiobook, where the *actual* voice changes when Gideon shows up. It's also written as if Gideon is telling Harrow this, but they never even meet, so it doesn't feel logical the way it is.!<

>!The characters!<

>!Let's start with Harrow, who had a very distinct personality in the first book, which is entirely lost here because she's a schizofrenic amnesiac. I understand why her personality has shifted, but it makes her less interesting to me unfortunately. The other characters are not that interesting either. Ianthe is just a bitch through the entire thing. She's not very three dimensional. The lyctors are also just kind of there. They're unpleasant to Harrow, but don't really do much of interest (except try to kill Harrow I guess).!<

>!Then we have "God". I assume it will be revealed later that he's actually from earth in our time and that's why he's named John and makes inane meme references. I just find his characterization very hard to believe. He's lived for ten thousand years, yet he still makes none pizza with left beef references? And don't get me started on the "Hi X, I'm dad" joke that ruined an otherwise pretty impactful scene. That's the kind of joke you write in a first draft, giggle about for a while, and then delete because it's insane to keep it in the finished book.!<

>!Overall, the characters felt pretty flat and their motivations seemed unclear. I still don't know why John wanted Harrow dead, or why he wanted Ortus/Gideon to kill her, instead of just doing it himself.!<

>!I don't know why Augustine and Mercymorn sent Wake to try to make a baby so they could open the tomb. I don't know why they want to kill John, considering they didn't find out about the perfect lyctorhood until they saw Gideon at the end, long after they started planning to kill John.!<

>!I have no idea what Ianthe wants or why she does anything she does.!<

>!Harrow also doesn't really have any clear motivations in this book. She doesn't have a goal, things just happen to her and around her.!<

>!There were also lots of characters who showed up kind of without context. In the first book there were 17 necromancers and cavaliers. They all had long names and titles, and there was no clear distinction between the houses that made them memorable. It's been a few months since I read the first book and I honestly had no idea who Camilla was when she showed up. I of course knew that she was one of the people from the first book, but not exactly who she was or the significance of her appearance. I guess this could be a me-problem, but typically I'd expect to see at least a line to provide context for who she is.!<

>!The same thing kind of happened with Ortus. I had honestly forgotten about him because he died in one of the first chapters of the first book. I thought he was just a new made up character until pretty late in the book.!<

>!Another character who confused me a bit was Wake. She showed up and they addressed her as commander Wake as if I should know who that is. I still don't know if she had been introduced previously or not.!<

>!The setting!<

>!This book is set in a vacuum. While Gideon had a very distinct sense of place, Harrow lacks it completely. I think they're in some kind of space station because they mentioned it once. What does it look like? I have no idea because there are basically no descriptions of the environment in this book. They walk into a room and it's just a room. Maybe there's a chair. It could look like a doctor's office or a sex dungeon and I wouldn't know, because no one's told me.!<

>!The world building is also very thin. We don't know almost anything about the nine houses and their history, or what they look like, or what life is like for normal people. They even visit alien planets and the only description is that there are plants (specifically ferns, which apparently exist across the entire known universe).!<

>!The plot!<

>!As we all know, this book has a quite convoluted plot. I get that the reason is that Harrow doesn't have her memories, but it goes on for 80 % of the book, and I think 30 % would have been more than enough. Especially since we know from the start that Harrow messed with her own memories to make herself forget Gideon (even if we don't know why). So it feels unnecessary to drag this plot point out for so long.!<

>!I know people say that the book is better on a re-read because you see a bunch of clues for things happening later. But imo a book needs to be interesting the first time you read it, and then reward you with even more on a re-read. Harrow didn't do that. There are long parts retelling the first book but with details changed. This is not fun to read. And outside this retelling, not a lot happens. They hang out on the space station, waiting for the resurrection beast to show up. They talk a bit. Ianthe's a bitch. Harrow is confused. At least there's some attempted murder to liven things up.!<

>!It also feels like it's confusing just to be confusing and tries to mislead the reader. Like I mentioned before with Gideon's voice. The same thing happens with the chapter titles "10 months until the emperor's murder". It makes you wait to see how the emperor will die because you're told it will happen for the entire book. But then the emperor isn't murdered so it feels like a bait and switch.!<

>!Another such issue I have is with the letters Harrow wrote. They are presented as a big plot point in the beginning. This is the big mystery that needs to be solved. *What is in those letters?* But then they amount to pretty much nothing. There was not a single letter I can remember to have had interesting or revealing content. Why introduce such an interesting plot device and then not even use it well? Some of the letters just provide more questions instead of answers. Like the one about Judith. Why did Harrow need to silence her? I have no idea, I barely know who Judith is.!<

>!The ending!<

>!I have seen it said online that the last few chapters are "insane" and there are so many reveals that make the slog of the first part worth it. This is what made me push through to the end, because I love a good reveal. But I honestly think people only think the ending is crazy because they compare it to the rest of the book, which is a slog. Yes, it's more fast pages and some stuff is revealed. But it's just not enough for me.!<

>!We find out who's in the locked tomb. Not a big shock, we knew it was a woman and that John has a mysterious woman he doesn't want to talk about. Not hard to connect the dots.!<

>!We now know who Gideon's parents are. Obviously they would be important characters, so even if I hadn't guessed the details, it wasn't a big surprise either!<.

>!I was a bit interested in the sleeper, and at least we got some answers there. I first thought the sleeper would be Alecto, but now I think the being that Dulcinea said she sensed in Harrow at the end was Alecto. But who knows.!<

>!We still don't know basically anything about God, the resurrection, the resurrection beasts, Alecto, what's going on with Gideon and Harrow, etc. All of these world building questions are left unanswered.!<

>!And once again the book ends with the main character(s) dying. So I guess we're in for the same kind of thing next book, which I probably won't read.!<

I do not want any spoilers!!

I loved Gideon the ninth and I went into Harrow knowing from what I've seen about it that it would be confusing. I'm listening to the audiobook and I'm at 3.5 hours out of 20 and I am frankly losing interest because I feel there's not much plot so far, and there are just endless questions and no answers in sight.

I really want to like this book, and I think I will love it when I start getting some answers, but at this point I'm losing hope.

So I was hoping someone could tell me (without spoilers)​ in which chapter things start to make sense. I need something to look forward to, to be able to push through to the end. And if the answers don't show up until hour 19, I might just drop it. But if I know roughly when I can expect to get some answers, it will be a lot easier to push through the confusion. ​​

I was asked to do a second iteration since people enjoyed it so much, so here we go!

Like my last post, I've picked one star reviews from goodreads for a few famous fantasy books. Can you guess which ones they are? I'll post the answers in about an hour so people have a chance to guess without spoilers.

Book 1

In my next life, dear lord, please let me come back as a white british man that writes a beyond mediocre fantasy series but gets hella praise for it. It shall be a grim filled diseased hellhole with big men who don't shower and characters shall be killed. There shall be a lot of swear words in it, well mostly variations of "fuck" but you get the picture. The women shall be non existent or exist just enough for my book not to feel like a plot sausage fest. I shall not describe any skin colour except it be dark or black and If i do mention someone is lilly fair it shall be to emphasise someone who isn't.

My plot shall be filled with characters squealing and going aaargh or urghhhh.

and lo' I shall be crowned the King of grimdark.

Amen!

Book 2

It seems like this is one of those books that you either really love or you truly despise. Unfortunately I fall into the latter category.

This books sucks. Up and down. Forward and back. Sucks. I read each chapter twice in a row and still had no idea what the fuck was going on. I still don't and further more I don't care.

Reading is my last refuge. I use it to escape. This book was like a job, except that a job pays. This book makes you work your tail off and doesn't pay. Fuck you Mr. [author]. Fuck you.

2024 Update - I just realized that this book is like Souls games. I hate those too.

Book 3

The review on this book said it was Ocean's 11 esque. I like the movie and thought I'd give the book a shot. I put it down halfway through. The main character is a thief with no redeeming qualities. He doesn't give to the poor, only hordes his stash. He robs the rich who's only crime is that they are rich, not villainous in any sort of way. Once I realized that I was reading a book about a morally bankrupt character, I put the book down. I hope he gets caught and suffers through to the lowest levels of hell.

Book 4

It was when the thief and the mage pulled out a whiteboard and started drawing a flow chart of how to conquer the fantasy kingdom that I realized, wait, I'm just reading some sad bastard's D&D campaign.

I am not sure what purpose fiction serves but I am positive this is not it.

Book 5

Appaling.

as if written by an enthusiastic but tragically over-encouraged teenager with insufferably supportive parents who somehow happen to be well-connected in the publishing indus—wait.

...oh.

carry on, then.

Answers

>!1 The Blade Itself!<

>!2 Gardens of the moon!<

>!3 The lies of Locke Lamora !<

>!4 The final empire !<

>!5 Eragon !<

Just a silly little game. I went through and picked out some short 1 star reviews of popular fantasy books. Some are easier than others,​ can you guess what they are?

Disclaimer: I'm posting this from my phone, so sorry for any formatting issues. ​

​Book 1

main character was so loveable and i liked the way his dyslexia was written…as for everything else i cant comment i was just bored. it’s so frustrating to be excited for a book’s premise only for it to be so dull

Book 2

Formula for an EPIC FANTASY novel! (echo: epic...epic...epic)

1. Set in an alternate medieval England I
2. Create a cast of hundreds (too many for readers to keep straight)
3. Include your standard archetypal characters: handsome, young hero; evil, conniving, power-hungry woman/witch, et cetera, et al, ad nauseum
4. Throw in some magic, maybe some mythical animals
5. Add a liberal dose of gratuitous sex scenes
6. For Heaven's sake, s-t-r-e-t-c-h that plot out, and make it a series so those paychecks keep rolling in!

Voila! I have just saved you from reading thousands of pages by [author first name]. (cute Tolkein reference) [author last name]. You can thank me now or later, whichever!

Book 3

Every dude who wants to write an epic saga (about a lowly orphan with a secret past who goes on a quest to discover the truth, and then hijinks ensue) should be limited to a maximum of 400 pages. Any more than that is just gas-baggery

Book 4

can be summarised as: walking, walking, walking, bit of fighting with orcs, walking, walking, walking, anguish, walking, walking, walking, bit more fighting with orcs, walking, walking, walking.

Book 5

I have no interest in imagining I'm someone who is stronger, deadlier, smarter, sexier, etc. than myself - a famed hero in a milqtoast world little different from modern North America.

Book 6

Highly derivative (Hunger Games meets Ender's Game) with pallid and unengaging characters. An astonishing amount of misogyny for the author's imagining of an idealized (even if that's a shallow veneer) future society?? "all the girls ran screaming" type stuff, and a "perfect" female character handled in a particular way at the very beginning in order to give the male protagonist a tragic back story. Even though the plot finally picked up about halfway through and I managed to finish the book, just--no. I won't read any more of this series.

Book 7

I really tried to make it through this one but gave it up around 80% in. It’s written for a very specific audience- mainly guys who like DnD, fighting, and weird sex stuff.

Book 8

Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh. I didn't care for this series at all. The bad guy is SO bad, stomping around twirling his virtual Snidely Whiplash mustache, sneering and jeering and (literally) kicking puppies, and yet the supposed "wise mentor" in the book keeps insisting mysteriously that there is more to him that meets the eye...well, guess what, there ISN'T, he's just as bad as he seems, and that pretty much saves you the trouble of reading the whole book right there.

Answers

>!1 The tainted cup !<

>!2 A game of thrones!<

>!3 Will of the many !<

>!4 Lord of the rings!<

>!5 The name of the wind!<

>!6 Red rising!<

>!7 Dungeon crawler Carl !<

>!8 Assassin's Apprentice!<