u/Prochorimenos

Are there any book clubs in Gabs or surrounding open to the public

I picked up reading as a hobby not too long ago. I've read a few books but i have no one to talk to about them.

[HR] Return To Null

Entry log 1 23-06-2026

Hello reader, Cy here. This will be the first time i write in my journal. I usually only write classic fiction. I also love to indulge in psychology and existential horror. Now this is going to be a short entry, I'm kind of busy with school at the moment. The other day i was walking home for which i came across two people arguing and they both seemed heated. I didn't pay attention to what they were arguing specifically but it had me thinking, this is really just two individuals trying to get the other to agree with their narrative or logic, however you may call it. There's always two sides to a story as they say. Everyone has a way of seeing things i do too. Anyway i have to leave for school, i will continue on this later.

Entry 2 26-06-2026

The only thing that kept repeating in my mind was how do you think every person here sees you from their perspective. It kept repeating over and over again I almost thought it was some insecurity talking but it felt more surreal. It was a weird moment, especially in that context. Anyway that's all i had for today nothing weird happened other than that.

Entry 3 03-07-2026

The spotlight is a place that is filled with scrutiny from all sides, and fun fact thats were all the fake characters and false pretenses are born haha. I will be presenting on synthetic polymers and all, pretty boring stuff. Oh and i remember i said in the first entry "this is going to be a short entry" but it seems like this is my standard, though I have a lot more to say.

Entry 4 12-97-2026

Hello

I've been super sick, i caught a cold and fever anout a week ago, they are still plaguing me even now. I will probably make a lot of mistakes but bear with me. The presntation went well and without a hitch. I managed to stand my ground in the spotlight. The only issue is I still keep remembering the gazes of the audience. Something about how I saw them still bothers me.

They looked like characters in a story to me. At that time to me they looked like characters in a story who's sole purpose was to witness me talk. I know that sounds arrogant and dehumanising but is it really bad if it helped me talk perfectly?. After i was done and my colleague stepped up, and I was betrayed by my own mind, i thought of myself as a character along eith the audience as existences made to listen to her at that moment.

This was quite awkward and surprising that i turned on myself, or maybe something talked through me to me who knows. Anyway after that I got this fever and cold even though it was warm all day. Stupid body!!. So yeah i got to treat myself and got to stay home some more after informing the professors. The week was stale mostly but i got to read some horror stories and catch up to some shows. That's all for now

Entry 5 21-07-2026

I passed out and woke up in a dark room with nothing but a steel chair in the middle of the room illuminated by an overhead lamp. I walked up to the chair and with every step the only think that kept repeating in my mind was "don't think, yet". I sat down on the chair because it looked like it was the only sensible thing to do at the time and immediately as i sat down the room turned all white and the overhead lamp disappeared.

This shook me for a bit, i couldn't run as well because there was no door in sight. I skimmed the room anxiously, looking for anything or any clue that could explain why i was here. There seemed to be nothing, the walls were smooth and the room was bright as ever, it didn't make sense, the walls were smooth and rounded were they met and there was no light source in sight yet the room was well lit.

I sat there puzzled and thought what the heck is this. And as though the room had heard me, letters started to appear on the wall. This startled me and made me tumble back. The writing kept on going but it was hard to make out, it was like an entity was writing with a poorly made pen on the white wall with black ink. After writing the letters smudged immediately and became unreadable. The words continued to form a sentence but ultimately it was no use since the letters were unreadable.

I tried to decipher and perhaps remember how the strokes of the letters went but it was futile, i was too startled to follow before. Tears started to fill my eyes as i got frustrated at this bizarre and confusing debacle i had found myself in. As though it felt my sorrow letters started to appear on the wall again and this time they wrote, in perfect writing, they wrote just one word 'perspective'.

As I read the word i was jolted awake only to find myself sleeping in a pool of my own vomit. I was disgusted and rightfully so but most of all i was relieved. I called an ambulance after because this was an out of the ordinary occurrence, and maybe it was tied to my fever. So that's what happened, crazy right.

Entry 6 09-08-2026

The sentence still hasn't become clear to me yet though, but after sitting down and thinking about it i came to the conclusion that it was something along the lines of "how do you think they see you from their perspective". I mean that's the closest I can get and it's not like i haven't been thinking about this a lot. Anyway my mind has been all over the place lately i can't seem to focus on anything anymore, my mind tends to wander around, captivated by fake scenarios and day dreaming. I need to fix my focus.

Oh before i forget and day dream again, i see things differently now i consider every perspective. Maybe that dream was giving me some insight to something, who knows. So for now I'm going to try to live while being aware of other perspectives and try my best to stay grounded in mine.

Entry 7 19-08-2026

Now back to more pressing matters, I've been seeing things. What i mean is I've been seeing perspective almost everywhere now, even where its not supposed to be like walls and poles. Just this morning I saw it in my cereal but it disappeared when i came closer. I don't know maybe I'm imagining things, i don't even use cereal that's in the shape of letters. Probably still traumatised by the dream and waking up in my own puke UGH!

Entry 8 29-08-2026

About me, I'd say I'm not sure how i am, I've been having dreams that resemble that weird dream, but they've all been in different settings and were not as candid as the first one. I've talked to my friends about it but they just played it off to simple shock or trauma. But is that really it? I'd like to believe i have okay mental fortitude I don't think a dream is enough to shock me. Maybe they are right though hmm... Nah it can't be.

Entry 9 01-09-2026

Ohayo reader, how are you doing today. You must be wondering, why does our boring bumpkin sound happy today well I had a blast last night. My friends bought me takoyaki and some Japanese dumplings to cheer me up, and its safe to say it worked. They are really good friends, i wonder how i look from their perspective.Hmm i wonder how you see me reader. Oh dear oh dear no no no.... It's starting again.....

Entry 10 07-09-2026

Hello reader. I know I've been worrying you lately but dont worry im fine now i think. Last time I left you guessing what happened, well here's what went down. After i wrote that sentence i began seeing and feeling things little by little. The air felt pretty tense like i was being watched from many angles and i saw things moving from the corner of my eye. Ultimately it was nothing, i checked. I might be getting paranoid, a little. Maybe i should get a gun hmmmmmmm.......

Entry 11 15-09-2026

It's as if my only duty is to observe. Have i finally understood perspective? The world has become more apparent to me. We all live a story and even the non living has a story.

These stories however are told in many ways. Every single person, every single creature has a way in which the story is appearing before them, and each one is more unique than the next. What about my story, do I really want to be a story? I guess i have no choice in the matter. Anyway I've been feeling a bit disconnected from my life lately and I don't think i will be going back to school anytime soon but I'll see.

Entry 12 17-09-2026

Hello readers;

I took a walk around the city yesterday, and my fears are slowly being confirmed. The weather was looking kinda nice. The sun in all its glory was out and the wind too was quite calm, a perfect recipe for a good day. Taking a walk wasn't entirely my idea though, my mother gave me a call and went ham, and scolded for always being cooped in my room.

I left the house around 0845, although there were cars passing by and there were no people walking around. It was quite peaceful. I went to the park and even though there were a few people walking their dogs it was fairly empty.

In no time the street was filled up with thousands of people and as expected i had a panic attack amidst the crowd. Embarrassing as it may be it was bizarre. I started hyperventilating and becoming slightly delirious. Everyone sort of cleared around me and stared at my pathetic self.

That only made it even worse, my chest felt tight and i fell to the floor. Even more eyes turned to me, whispers and pointing followed suit. This was already embarrassing enough but just when I thought I'd calm down tears started falling. I tried to stop myself but it felt like my body had a mind of its own. My mind felt like it was devoid of my body and i was now looking at me, my body.

Although he was human he didn't feel human, in fact none of the people around me did anymore. My mind was playing tricks on me, and just as u thought it couldn't get more bizarre two characters appeared on top of the man's head, P1. I stumbled back and took a second look, the characters were still there and seemed to get clearer and clearer the harder i looked at them.

A second person, a woman this time, stepped up and tried to talk to me, the characters P2 appeared on her and then on the man behind her. One by one the characters appear on top of everyone in the crowd. P3, P4, P5, P6 and so on until every person in my view got a designation. I stood up and ran, where i was going I don't know but i had to get out of there. Running didn't help, the further i got from where it all started the higher the number, thousands, tens of thousands the kept getting higher.

Tears couldn't stop flowing down my face as i ran. I just wanted to be left alone. As if my mind had finally felt pity for me i remember I live alone, i can go home and hide there. My legs ran and ran, even when i felt like collapsing i still ran.

I finally made it to the door after struggling for a while to get up the stairs. As soon as i opened it the door the queasiness escalated tenfold. I hauled my tired arse down through the living room and into the bathroom around the corner. I swung open the bathroom door and dashed to the sink, immediately as i got there the flood gates opened. I puked.

It felt super relieving, the more i let go the lighter my body felt. It was water mostly, i went to sleep on an empty stomach and hadn't had breakfast. After I finished vomiting i rinsed my mouth thoroughly. When i lifted my head to look at myself in the mirror i got a second scare. I thought what i had before was a hallucination but there they were. I thought I was exempt from all this absurdity, but there the characters were.

Just like before the characters were hazy and got clearer the longer i looked at them. I stared at them for a good while and they gradually became clear. The clearer they got the more different they seem from the ones i saw. On the top of my head were the characters ≈ 0. Approximately 0? Not zero, not nothing something in between.

Entry 13 21-09-2026

Hello reader, I...

Entry 14 03-10-2026

0 or should i say null is the origin mark, a state where nothing exists and the beginning of all things. Approximately 0 a mark that was bestowed to me when everyone else got a similar designation. Does this mean I am almost null, the origin? Everyone else got P# what is P, does it represent perspective, if it does then this all makes sense. So if everyone is P#. with me being the exception, doesn't that make me beyond perspectives or maybe I'm, hmmm no.

These dreams I've been having of seeing the world from others and also being changed and molded through different eyes, doesn't that just make me a narrative. But it's not that simple. But no this isn't enough i have to know more i have to feel every perspective. I HAVE TO GO BACK! I have to.

Entry 15 12-11-2026

I don't even remember writing some of these entries. So I went to go consult a doctor about it after my neighbour found me sitting outside in the dark mumbling to myself. The doctor said i may have bpd with schizophrenia or it may just be intense fatigue. Funny enough he had P3468 on his head.

I may or may not have a problem but that's yet to be confirmed though but I fear i may not be the same in the near future, so this might be my last goodbye, reader.

Entry 31-12-2026

Everything has aligned perfectly. The return to null is inevitable. I've finally reached it, the precipice of my being. When the clock strikes 0000 I will depart from this body. All things are set. I will see them all! I will become null, i am the narrative I will exist in every thought. yours too

3..... 2....1...

I see—

reddit.com

u/Prochorimenos — 13 days ago

▲ 1 r/FictionWriting

Return To Null

Entry log 1 23-06-2026

Entry 2 26-06-2026

I am back, reader. I had a lot going on, it's a really busy week. It's my birthday tomorrow I am looking forward to it as one usually would, i will be commemorating my 22nd revolution around the sun haha. I as well am a story being told in real time. Every birth a new story begins. Of course this doesn't apply to people only but it's quite fascinating and eye opening. This book, this journal is my little space to voice my thoughts and just let go. I approached a lady today and professed my interest in her but my advances were denied. Some of the bystanders laughed, it was not as heart breaking as i thought it would be. The only thing that kept repeating in my mind was how do you think every person here sees you from their perspective. It kept repeating over and over again I almost thought it was some insecurity talking but it felt more surreal. It was a weird moment, especially in that context. Anyway that's all i had for today nothing weird happened other than that.

Entry 3 03-07-2026

It's been a week since i wrote, i hope you didn't feel too lonely reader. I had my birthday celebrations and it was fun, the whole family was here and we all had fun, regardless being the center of attention was exhausting. Anyway I have a presentation on Monday. I hate those, not because I can't talk but because i don't enjoy being the center of attention. The spotlight is a place that is filled with scrutiny from all sides, and fun fact thats were all the fake characters and false pretenses are born haha. I will be presenting on synthetic polymers and all, pretty boring stuff. Oh and i remember i said in the first entry "this is going to be a short entry" but it seems like this is my standard, though I have a lot more to say.

Entry 4 12-97-2026

Hello I've been super sick, i caught a cold and fever anout a week ago, they are still plaguing me even now. I will probably make a lot of mistakes but bear with me. The presntation went well and without a hitch. I managed to stand my ground in the spotlight. The only issue is I still keep remembering the gazes of the audience. Something about how I saw them still bothers me. They looked like characters in a story to me. At that time to me they looked like characters in a story who's sole purpose was to witness me talk. I know that sounds arrogant and dehumanising but is it really bad if it helped me talk perfectly?. After i was done and my colleague stepped up, and I was betrayed by my own mind, i thought of myself as a character along eith the audience as existences made to listen to her at that moment. This was quite awkward and surprising that i turned on myself, or maybe something talked through me to me who knows. Anyway after that I got this fever and cold even though it was warm all day. Stupid body!!. So yeah i got to treat myself and got to stay home some more after informing the professors. The week was stale mostly but i got to read some horror stories and catch up to some shows. That's all for now

Entry 5 21-07-2026

Hello reader, i have quite the update for you. So as you are aware i had a fever a few days ago, which is gone now thankfully. The fever stopped me from updating sooner. After my fourth entry it ramped up and i have to go seek medical attention. I was hanging on my last thread haha I barely managed to get help. So here is how it went down, after closing my book i felt a sharp pain shoot through the center of my head and it all went black from there. I passed out and woke up in a dark room with nothing but a steel chair in the middle of the room illuminated by an overhead lamp. I walked up to the chair and with every step the only think that kept repeating in my mind was "don't think, yet". I sat down on the chair because it looked like it was the only sensible thing to do at the time and immediately as i sat down the room turned all white and the overhead lamp disappeared. This shook me for a bit, i couldn't run as well because there was no door in sight. I skimmed the room anxiously, looking for anything or any clue that could explain why i was here. There seemed to be nothing, the walls were smooth and the room was bright as ever, it didn't make sense, the walls were smooth and rounded were they met and there was no light source in sight yet the room was well lit. I sat there puzzled and thought what the heck is this. And as though the room had heard me, letters started to appear on the wall. This startled me and made me tumble back. The writing kept on going but it was hard to make out, it was like an entity was writing with a poorly made pen on the white wall with black ink. After writing the letters smudged immediately and became unreadable. The words continued to form a sentence but ultimately it was no use since the letters were unreadable. I tried to decipher and perhaps remember how the strokes of the letters went but it was futile, i was too startled to follow before. Tears started to fill my eyes as i got frustrated at this bizarre and confusing debacle i had found myself in. As though it felt my sorrow letters started to appear on the wall again and this time they wrote, in perfect writing, they wrote just one word 'perspective'. As I read the word i was jolted awake to find myself sleeping in a pool of my own vomit. I was disgusted and rightfully so but most of all i was relieved. I called an ambulance after because this was an out of the ordinary occurrence, and maybe it was tied to my fever. So that's what happened, crazy right.

Entry 6 09-08-2026

Reader, i find myself in quite the challenging position. After the gnarly dream i sought help and found it. I was okay for a few more days but then it started to happen. The word perspective has become apparent everywhere i go. I see it everywhere in books, in posters and even during conversations, it's almost like I'm noticing it even more after what happened. The sentence still hasn't become clear to me yet though, but after sitting down and thinking about it i came to the conclusion that it was something along the lines of "how do you think they see you from their perspective". I mean that's the closest I can get and it's not like i haven't been thinking about this a lot. Anyway my mind has been all over the place lately i can't seem to focus on anything anymore, my mind tends to wander around, captivated by fake scenarios and day dreaming. I need to fix my focus. Oh before i forget and day dream again, i see things differently now i consider every perspective. Maybe that dream was giving me some insight to something, who knows. So for now I'm going to try to live while being aware of other perspectives and try my best to stay grounded in mine.

Entry 7 19-08-2026

Hello reader, I have nothing new today it's been pretty mild. The weather has been quite nice and I took a walk around town. Somebody told me a while ago that the world will look different after recovering from a huge illness or dire situation, i kinda get it now. It looks a little bit better outside, still grey but a little bit better. Now back to more pressing matters, I've been seeing things. What i mean is I've been seeing perspective almost everywhere now, even where its not supposed to be like walls and poles. Just this morning I saw it in my cereal but it disappeared when i came closer. I don't know maybe I'm imagining things, i don't even use cereal that's in the shape of letters. Probably still traumatised by the dream and waking up in my own puke UGH!

Entry 8 29-08-2026

Hey reader, back with another update. I've been reading this interesting creepypasta, it's about a guy who becomes above the narratives. It's a pretty cool story the author really put it together quite nicely but i still have a lot of questions, anyway that's not the point right now. After reading the story i came to the realisation that perspectives and narratives go hand in hand, pretty interesting stuff i will definitely look into later. About me, I'd say I'm not sure how i am, I've been having dreams that resemble that weird dream, but they've all been in different settings and were not as candid as the first one. I've talked to my friends about it but they just played it off to simple shock or trauma. But is that really it? I'd like to believe i have okay mental fortitude I don't think a dream is enough to shock me. Maybe they are right though hmm... Nah it can't be.

Entry 9 01-09-2026

Entry 10 07-09-2026

Entry 11 15-09-2026

What do you think perspective is? I'm back but not here readEr. This word has been fascinating to me more and more and it's made me have deep thoughts and even deeper and meaningful dreams. I keep dreaming of different lives yet i have no control over the 'person' I m looking through. Instead they have control over me, almost like I'm looking from their perspective. But throughout all the perspectives I've dreamt I've been changed and molded to fit whoever i was seeing through. It's as if my only duty is to observe. Have i finally understood perspective? The world has become more apparent to me. We all live a story and even the non living has a story. These stories however are told in many ways. Every single person, every single creature has a way in which the story is appearing before them, and each one is more unique than the next. What about my story, do I really want to be a story? I guess i have no choice in the matter. Anyway I've been feeling a bit disconnected from my life lately and I don't think i will be going back to school anytime soon but I'll see.

Entry 12 17-09-2026

Hello readers; I took a walk around the city yesterday, and my fears are slowly being confirmed. The weather was looking kinda nice. The sun in all its glory was out and the wind too was quite calm, a perfect recipe for a good day. Taking a walk wasn't entirely my idea though, my mother gave me a call and went ham, and scolded for always being cooped in my room. I left the house around 0845, although there were cars passing by and there were no people walking around. It was quite peaceful. I went to the park and even though there were a few people walking their dogs it was fairly empty.

The walk although calming took a lot out of me and before i knew it, I was way too far away from home and i was parched. I got the brilliant idea to go through the city center and buy a beverage on my way through. The further i walked into the city center, i started seeing more and more people. Don't think I've mentioned it here before but I do have a bit of social anxiety and my staying mostly at home for the past month didn't help my case. In no time the street was filled up with thousands of people and as expected i had a panic attack amidst the crowd. Embarrassing as it may be it was bizarre. I started hyperventilating and becoming slightly delirious. Everyone sort of cleared around me and stared at my pathetic self. That only made it even worse, my chest felt tight and i fell to the floor. Even more eyes turned to me, whispers and pointing followed suit. This was already embarrassing enough but just when I thought I'd calm down tears started falling. I tried to stop myself but it felt like my body had a mind of its own. My mind felt like it was devoid of my body and i was now looking at me, my body.

As i was trying to understand what was going on a man walked up to me and touched my shoulder and asked me if i was okay. When he touched me i was immediately sent back to my body and when I turned to look at him i became even more distraught. Although he was human he didn't feel human, in fact none of the people around me did anymore. My mind was playing tricks on me, and just as u thought it couldn't get more bizarre two characters appeared on top of the man's head, P1. I stumbled back and took a second look, the characters were still there and seemed to get clearer and clearer the harder i looked at them. A second person, a woman now, stepped up and tried to talk to me, the characters P2 appeared on her and then on the man behind her. One by one the characters appear on top of everyone in the crowd. P3, P4, P5, P6 and so on until every person in my view got a designation. I stood up and ran, where i was going I don't know but i had to get out of there. Running didn't help, the further i got from where it all started the higher the number, thousands, tens of thousands the kept getting higher. Tears couldn't stop flowing down my face as i ran. I just wanted to be left alone. As if my mind had finally felt pity for me i remember I live alone, i can go home and hide there. My legs ran and ran, even when i felt like collapsing i still ran.

In about an hour I had reached the stairwell, that led to my apartment. After walking all morning it was a miracle that i had arrived here this quick, an impressive feat for someone who barely leaves the house. Anyway, even though I had managed to run away from the crowd i was still in a daze. Matter of fact i felt really queasy. The first step I took on the stairs felt overwhelmingly heavy , almost like i was climbing up 4 steps at a time while carrying a bag of sand. I finally made it to the door after struggling for a while to get up the stairs. As soon as i opened it the door the queasiness escalated tenfold. I hauled my tired arse down through the living room and into the bathroom around the corner. I swung open the bathroom door and dashed to the sink, immediately as i got there the flood gates opened. I puked.

It felt super relieving, the more i let go the lighter my body felt. *It was water mostly,, i went to sleep on an empty stomach and hadn't had breakfast*. After I finished vomiting i rinsed my mouth thoroughly. When i lifted my head to look at myself in the mirror i got a second scare. I thought what i had before was a hallucination but there they were. I thought I was exempt from all this absurdity, but there the characters were. Just like before the characters were hazy and got clearer the longer i looked at them. I stared at them for a good while and they gradually became clear. The clearer they got the more different they seem from the ones i saw. On the top of my head were the characters ≈ 0. Approximately 0? Not zero, not nothing something in between.

Entry 13 21-09-2026

Hello reader, I...

Entry 14 03-10-2026

It's all coming together, at first i thought narratives serve perspectives, i was wrong. Narrative is like a perspective that can be shared between and changed. So perspectives can be changed but only if they are pushed by a narrative. 0 or should i say null is the origin mark, a state where nothing exists and the beginning of all things. Approximately 0 a mark that was bestowed to me when everyone else got a similar designation. Does this mean I am almost null, the origin? Everyone else got P# what is P, does it represent perspective, if it does then this all makes sense. So if everyone is P#. with me being the exception, doesn't that make me beyond perspectives or maybe I'm, hmmm no. These dreams I've been having of seeing the world from others and also being changed and molded through different eyes, doesn't that just make me a narrative. But it's not that simple. But no this isn't enough i have to know more i have to feel every perspective. I HAVE TO GO BACK! I have to.

Entry 15 12-11-2026

I have been out of it and I apologize for my more spaced out entries. I started this project as sort of a documentary of how I spent my weeks but that failed miserably. My mind has been plagued by insanity, one day I'm fine then the next I'm not myself and am super fixated by perspectives. I don't even remember writing some of these entries. So I went to go consult a doctor about it after my neighbour found me sitting outside in the dark mumbling to myself. The doctor said i may have bpd with schizophrenia or it may just be intense fatigue. Funny enough he had P3468 on his head. I may or may not have a problem but that's yet to be confirmed though but I fear i may not be the same in the near future, so this might be my last goodbye, reader.

Entry 31-12-2026

3..... 2....1...

I see—

reddit.com

u/Prochorimenos — 13 days ago