
The Ex-Scientology Community Fallacy
It is interesting to see people discuss the ex Scientology Community. They treat it as though it is a cohesive, happy group of people. Unfortunately, a lot of ex Scientologists feel like they need a community of others who were there too to feel comfortable. In my mind, this is not actually healthy.
Before you get all upset and say things like “common goal,” “fighting the enemy,” “take down Miscavige,,” etc., let me clarify.
Just like when a person graduates from school, people move on. Now, in reality, Scientology stunts even this part of people’s lives. Those people who were born in Scientology and leave as adults may not even have experienced graduation from school. But the comparison is still valid.
I attended my 50th year high school class reunion 4 years ago and it was strange. I left home for college less than 3 months after graduation. I never again lived there. I was in college, then Scientology. I left Scientology just shortly before my parents died, 12 years after I graduated. After that, there was really no reason to go back.
The shared experience of attending the same high school had zero effect on who I liked or got along with 50 years after graduation. There were less than a dozen people at the reunion I even talked to. They were the ones who had attended the entire 12 years of school with me. The rest of the people were strangers who I had known for a brief moment of my life. And that’s the way life works.
It’s the same or worse in Scientology. The reality of a Scientology friendship is that there is no bond. None. No familial bond, no real friendship. And your co worker will willingly write a knowledge report on you if it will keep them out of trouble. Therefore, the only real bond formed in Scientology is a trauma bond. So to feel like you need to be friends with someone just because they were in Scientology too doesn’t make sense. It’s highly unlikely you were friends then. Even if you knew the person. And if you had a friendship, it was superficial.
After I left Scientology, I didn’t tell anyone I had been in for 27 years. I was not your normal escapee, I know. It was good because I was able to heal without anyone from my past involved. It has only been the last 15 years that I have become active in attempting to take Scientology down. And the people who have hurt me the worst since I have started telling my story are other ex Scientologists.
There are so many ex Scientologists who are so busy “being ex Scientologists” these days that they don’t realize that they are harming their own mental health by constantly repeating the details of their past trauma in public forums. They are so busy being.a group of damaged people that they can’t take the next logical step and repair themselves.
Sure, it’s ok to make friends with people who were in Scientology. I have a few friends in my large contingent of friends who are ex Scientologists. But that should never be the sole criteria for a friendship. If that is the only common ground you have, your friendship is bound to fail. At least that’s how I see it.