17M lying to 21F about age bad?
Wow i honestly feel so guilty to have waited to open up about this but here it is. Im 17M turning 18 in about 3 months while my partner is 21 turning 22 months after my birthday. A main thing is that this is a long distance relationship 2 states away close but far. theres alot to it and i dont wanna give much detail out of fear but ill try my best to space it out.
We met online about a year ago, and where just mutuals who followed eachother, she followed me on another app weeks later and we started to text.( to clarify i look alot older than i am, at the time that we met i was also 16 but we never flirted or met or anything, this girl lives states away from me.) we spoke for about a week or 2 before the age question came about. she was at the time 20 and i said i was 18 which she was completely cool with. so as time went by my birthday came around and i turned 17 while she was still 20 and she thought i was 19. We did start talking about seeing eachother and all but nothing came about.
About 3-4 months later once she was ready to be serious about long distance, i started to tell her i wasnt ready for something like this and that we should break it off.(which had really crushed her from the looks of it) i still stayed to talk with her cause i honestly wasnt ready to let her go, i had developed real genuine feelings for this girl. we didnt speak for about a month or so and we became back and fourth every couple months. then we didn’t speak for about 2 months and she came back and kinda let me on but it was my fault for letting her come back. (REMINDER she still didnt know my real age) she ended up trying to move on with someone else and it didnt work. and i was crushed when she told me about that. and it made me realize how much i really loved her and she also loved me.
After we promised to be serious about eachother. Honestly the age thing completely slipped my mind untill she talked about coming to my state to see me. to keep it long story short she came and i had lied to my mom about her age saying she was 20 and that she was okay with me being 17 since i turned 18 this year, which is horrible horrible horrible i know but then again my mom doesnt really care and my dad is basically non existent when it comes to things like this.
So me and her did go all the way with her if you know what im talking about and i even gave her the great trip she has ever been on from what she has told me (it was her first time coming to this state also) and I drove her around, took her to beautiful places and bought her things. I WENT ALL OUT!
now that i know everything is serious and could seriously work out, i feel so guilty to have no told her my real age and i know she loves me so much and i know i truely love her more than any relationship ive ever been in. shes met my parents, younger brother and uncles. shes told her mom about me and her friends know me. im so scared shes like cancel me or even just hate me or just leave me over this cause ik its a huge deal breaker. Our love is real and i know it can work because all i want is her. i did this because shes honestly the girl of my dreams, ive never seen a more beautiful girl that has interested me and given me the feeling of wanting to have her forever and make her happy. im planning on flying out to see her in a week also by myself and idk if i should wait till im 18 to tell her but thats still a hefty amount of time and i also start my senior year of highschool which she doesnt know im in school at all.
Im a very wise, mature teen. i had to grow up pretty quick being where im from and going through what ive went through at a young age. i feel so free and open and happy with this girl. everything that weve done ive been okay with and ive wanted shes never pressured me for anything or to do anything. i wanted all of this and all of her. please give me feedback