Need Closure
Hi I just wanted advice on what to do as recently my 13 year old dog had passed. She was such an energetic and fiesty dog that my family adored, however her spark completely disappeared after we gave her some tablet for her worms like 10 days ago. The vets did acknowledge that is was different to the usual ones but no one thought anything of it and I really really regret giving her it. What followed was 3 days of no appetite vomiting and diarrhea which made us all very concerned. She stopped going on walks too and would just lay in bed all day. We took her back to the vets on Tuesday but I didnt go. Then they took her to the vets on friday and explained how we suspect those worm tablets was the cause but they dismissed us saying its just a normal reaction and those worm tablets are safe. They offered a 550£ blood test and a 2000£ overnight stay for IV fluids to hydrate her but we couldn't afford it as we where already spending so much money on the appointments and never had really enough for treatment like that. My dad did initially agree and they picked my dog up immediately but when he stopped them to ask if he could pay in installments they gave the dog back and said no. we ended up getting the IV fluids to hydrate her right there for 60£ after my dad tried negotiating. They prescribed her even more medication(Omeprazole 5mg and protexin pro kollin 15ml). After giving it to my dog she would be very sick and throw up so we stopped giving it to her. we started feeding my dog blended food and water directly into her mouth as she went from 5.5kg to 4.6kg in those days. she was still vomiting everyday but we hopes it would stop soon as the vets said it was safe. By Saturday (the 7th day) she started recovering a bit. She was growling at my dad and she ate food. I was very happy seeing her barking, running around again and sunbathing on Sunday. However on Monday she went back to before. But I was hopeful she'll recover I wanted her to so I thought she was just tired from pushing herself the day before. However the tip of her tongue was black and she didn't eat or drink anything. I held her as soon as I came back from school since she was following me which i thought was because she wanted attention. Her gums was pink so I was clinging onto that being a sign that shes healthy. However my parents told me they where going to discuss quality of life with the vets. We had already been looking for charities to help and there where none in our area so my parents think she was just suffering. I then started contacting other vets in hope that they could help but by then it was closed. I did email them to have an appointment the next day. However during the night according to my parents she was moving around the bed, my parents sleep with her since shes been very unwell, they thought she was going back to normal but they didn't let her off the bed incase she wanted to throw up as they had these dog mats on the bed for her and would prefer it there than the carpet. But she jumped off and started whimpering before falling over and soiling herself before becoming unresponsive. My parents checked her heartbeat and there wasn't anything so they laid her down in a blanket and cleaned up after her and processedbit themselves for an hour. They woke me up and I was in shock so I started hugging her and not think to call the vets. After 2 hours we finally did as my parents didn't know any emergency centers in the area and yeah we found one and she was pronounced dead at 3am. I still don't understand what happened. She was healthy before that medicine and now shes gone. Like 2 weeks ago she was biting me before karate since I took her spot in the car. I don't know what worm tablet it was but I will be asking the vets but I don't trust them.I just miss my baby and even in those pictures you can see how skinny and tired she had become. Idk is there any point trying to figure out what was given? we sent her off to be cremated already after they said she's dead but it just doesn't feel real. what do I do how do I accept this or move on?