u/Pyroclast_Hex5

I work as a freelance designer, mostly brand identity stuff. This particular client, a small wellness business, was someone I'd worked with for about 4 months. She had a habit of texting me directly at odd hours with small requests and changes, sometimes at 10pm, sometimes sunday morning, always framed as "just a quick thing." I'd usually respond because it felt easier than letting things pile up, but it was starting to bleed into every part of my week.

About six weeks in I raised it professionally - said I'd prefer to keep all project communication in the project management tool we'd set up together so nothing gets lost and everything is documented. She agreed. Then texted me that same evening asking if I could "just quickly" swap a font on a mockup we hadn't even started yet. I responded in the tool saying I'd noted the preference for the project's later stage. She texted again. I answered in the tool again.

Then in a call two weeks later, she brought up that she sometimes felt like I was being "slow to respond" and said going forward she'd appreciate if I could be more accessible through "all channels." I said I wanted to make sure I understood - should all communication go through the project tool as we'd agreed, or through multiple channels. She said "well official channels but also just be reachable." I said okay, and asked her to send me in writing which channels she considered official so I could make sure I was covering them properly.

She sent an email listing the project tool and email only. No mention of text. I replied confirming I'd monitor both. I have not responded to a single text from her since and have answered everything else within two business hours. She has not raised it again. The project is nearly done and every single decision is fully documented. When she asks where something is I send her a link to the thread.

The paper trail is the real product at this point.

I've been an adult for over a decade and genuinely thought once a month was fine, maybe even slightly often. My logic was that I shower before bed, my hair is usually dry when I sleep, so the pillow isn't really getting dirty. This seemed reasonable to me. Nobody corrected me. I just kept going.

Last week my coworker mentioned she washes her pillowcase every week, sometimes twice a week in summer, and I made a face without meaning to. She noticed and asked what was wrong and I had to explain that I genuinely did not know that was a thing people did. She was not unkind about it but she did go quiet for a second in a way that communicated something. I went home and looked it up. Apparently pillowcases accumulate dead skin cells, oils from your face and hair, sweat, and various other things I will not list here within just a few days of use. I had been sleeping on that for weeks at a time. Repeatedly. For years.

I washed all my pillowcases that night and put two sets on rotation so I actually have a spare to switch to. I also learned you're supposed to wash the actual pillow itself every few months which is a whole separate thing I was not doing. I bought pillow protectors. I have since washed my bedding three times in two weeks which is more than I probably did in the previous two months combined.

I'm not posting this to be dramatic, I'm posting this because if I didn't know then statistically someone else probably also doesn't know and deserves the same gentle coworker experience I had except from a reddit post instead.