u/RandomAccessMemoirs

Do people really believe in god or are they just afraid of going to hell?

What are you supposed to do if god stays silent?

I have a hard time believing or trusting god. I've posted many times about my past, child abuse over many years, abusive father, the latest instalment was that I found out he wrote me out of his will, which I expected but to see it in writing is another thing.

Which leads me onto, I have a hard time separating god from my father. The same silence, the same indifference.

I shouldn't wake up every morning thinking I can't wait for this life to be over.

I shouldn't wake up hating god and everything he has created.

I shouldn't fantasise about not existing.

I can't look in the mirror and most days I hate being alive, and that's not right, is it.

I know most comments will be bible quotes or that one guy who says something along the lines of 'put on your big boy pants' or something equally as ridiculous.

I don't think prayers work, I'm too angry for that. I can explain why if anyone is interested.

Please, no bible quotes, no quotes about Job etc.

Where I live, it's pretty quiet but recently one or two of the distant neighbours have bought dogs. At what seems like the same point throughout day, the dogs start barking for no reason. It doesn't go on for long, thank god but it made me think...do dogs hate silence?

I remember a friend's dog would beg to go into the garden just to bark, night or day. Imagine if a person walked into their garden and started shouting HEY HEY HEY HEY....HEY HEY HEY HEY....HEY HEY HEY for no reason, we would consider that person insane.

Recently I have been seeing the phrase 'dog fatigue ' trending on tik tok and nothing brings me more relief. It's seems that the tide is finally turning and people are seeing sense.

The best thing is the comments agreeing how draining dogs and dog culture is.