u/RandomRedditUserSI

I lived with my Mom for the last 6,5 years since Dad died, and my whole life revolved around caring for her for the past 3 years. I have a very analytical mind (so did she) and can't stop going over notes, hers and mine, and researching what else could have been done. I lost her on 15 August. I'd be very grateful on any resources on how to live in a caregiver's 'after', on caregiver guilt and anything else. The silence is deafening and the emptiness is suffocating.

I wanted to breathe for you but I couldn't

Wanted to die instead of you but the universe took you

Now I should live to honor you but I can't

Mom died. My watch is over. She was my only close person left in this world. I couldn't save her. I see no sense in going on, even though I know she loved me more than anything in this world and that's what she would have wanted. She was the bestest, dearest mom anyone could have ever wished for and brought light everywhere she went. She was my anchor. Mom, I'll always love you