I feel like I've lost myself and don't know how to keep going.
I feel like I've lost myself and I don't know how to move forward.
I'm 25 years old and still studying psychology. This has been my dream for years, but I honestly don't know if I can keep doing this anymore.
I was recently diagnosed with ADHD, and I also struggle with severe fear of failure. Looking back, so many things finally make sense, but at the same time I feel like I'm years behind everyone else.
The biggest problem is that I can't seem to study on my own. At my previous university, I had friends who studied with me. We would sit in the same room, each doing our own work, take breaks together, and ask each other how far we'd gotten. That was enough to keep me going.
Now I'm at a different university, and I'm completely alone. I have no friends here, no study partner, and no one to keep me accountable. My boyfriend works a lot, and I feel guilty constantly talking to him about the same struggles every year.
My family thinks I'm doing well, but I'm not. They continue to support my education financially, and I feel like I'm letting them down. The guilt is crushing me.
I keep comparing myself to people my age. Most of my friends have already graduated, started working, or are getting married, while I'm still stuck in the same cycle of procrastination, anxiety, and self-hatred.
The worst part is that I feel like I always need someone else to function. If someone is sitting next to me studying, I can work for hours. If I'm alone, I can spend the entire day doing nothing even though I desperately want to study. Is this something other people with ADHD experience?
Lately I've started thinking that maybe I'm just not made for university anymore. Part of me wants to quit, take a break, and finally breathe. Another part of me can't let go because becoming a psychologist has been my dream for so long.
I feel completely exhausted and honestly worthless. I don't recognize myself anymore. I used to believe I could do this, but now I feel like I've forgotten how to study.
Has anyone else experienced something similar with ADHD, fear of failure, or burnout? How did you break out of this cycle? I'd really appreciate hearing from people who understand.
I hope someone can relate, because right now I feel incredibly alone.