MA June 10
Hello!
I will have MA later tonight.
I’m currently drinking and tamado na. I’ve been always thinking that I will do this alone but I hope someone will accompany me during the process.
Throughout my life I have been always vocal on supporting women’s choice. And before, even if I support one’s choice in life, I always tell that I will not go through abortion. And now, my perception challenges me.
I thought I will be the same like others na you will feel guilt and attached towards the fetus, but no.
Nung nakita kong nagpositive ako sa PT, I cried my hearts out and blamed myself.
I could have prevented it but I did not.
All I can think is “I can’t give a life my baby deserves”. I don’t have a job, barely making it in college. Mentally, I want to kill myself. To some other people, I know I’m selfish, but I really can’t go through it.
Here I am, doing the thing that I said I won’t do, and I’m sorry.. so much. If there’s a God, I hope he/she will forgive me for what will I do.