Tinnitus and hearing loss issues 25m. Looking for advice.
First I don’t mean any offense to people that have worse issues than I do. I understand there are people that have it worse and may envy the level my issues are at. My heart goes out to ya’ll.
Second I think this is more of a hearing loss post than much else. I don’t believe mine is as severe as I can find many like minded people.
Backstory - lived in the south whole life. Go dawgs! Lived life around music and one of the most important aspects of life. My dad plays and sings. I play guitar and sing. I’ve had tinnitus since I was 18 working construction. Never bothered me because it was small and I only ever heard it in very quiet rooms. Never had issues sleeping stress never heard it though the day. Joined military at 19 been around loud machines a such.
Fast forward 6 years later work in law enforcement in the community I grew up in. Last September and old friend stopped by showed me a new .44 magnum he had and I knew better but I shot it without ear protection. Context I grew up shooting guns like that on occasion and it’s never did anything than make my ears ring for a couple hours. I thought hey one gunshot isn’t gonna hurt my hearing seriously I mean my ears already ring in quiet rooms what’s the worst that could happen. Wasn’t as educated on hearing loss as I am now and now i do realize I was a dumbass. It immediately changed “something” like the tinnitus I already had became significantly louder in left ear and my humming sounded different. Like not centered in my head. Immediately half concerned cuz for one loud noise make ears feel weird. About a week later I forgot about it. Tinnitus was louder at night but nothing that kept me from sleeping. Playing games with headset sounded normal. Music sounded normal.
Fast forward a month took my new girlfriend to our first SEC football game. DID NOT REALIZE HOW LOUD THAT STUFF WAS. Great game. One of the best memories I will have hands down. One issue. During the game everytime the crowd roared my left ear would scream with hyperacusis (lol new term I learned last month). Never experienced noise feedback like that. After the game it felt like my left ear didn’t exist, my humming was completely one sided, And music was pushed more towards the right ear. Immediate concern that I brought it up to my girlfriend. She said get a doctors appointment and I put it off like whatever. Tinnitus didn’t really change. Driving around in a car music still sounded off in my left ear. It was like I could hear the music louder with my right ear. In my gaming headset audio was very slight right sided. But eventually over months I gotten used to it I guess or it got better idk. Stopped worrying me and I forgot about it 99 percent of the time. Was more cautious about my ears at this point because I’m noticing changes.
Fast forward to April. Got sick and the tinnitus in my left ear was horrible. Had sleeping issues. It was like it was screaming at me. Went away about a week. I still remember the day I stepped out the shower and was like I CANT HEAR IT and the amount of euphoria I got from it. Realized something was wrong though. Never had ringing ears when sick. Was very cautious about hearing.
A few weeks later Went to the between the hedges country concert and brought ear protection. Didnt want to experience what I did again or make it worse. Went to the concert, wore the protection for most of the concert.
Woke up the next morning everything changed. I had tinnitus in my left ear like I’ve never experienced. I did not know it could get that bad. It was trauma inducing. 24/7 non stop. Could not sleep, could not watch tv. Nothing. I would put on marvel movies and try to distract myself best I could. I was in a stress state 24/7. Ended up having a panic attack a week later. (I’ve never had anxiety issues). This was day to day for me. Hearing changed. Could not hear as clear in left ear. It was almost like the ear wasn’t there. Didn’t have issues conversations but music was definitely one sided including vocals. It’s been about two months dealing with this.
A month into this event I don’t know if the tinnitus calmed down or if my brain is used to it. There are times it’s loud but I don’t generally worry about it anymore. I don’t have sleeping problems or panic attacks anymore. It’s not something I would only hear at night. It turned into a part of my life. Last night had a bad spike but whatever. My thing is now. Since I’ve stopped focusing on tinnitus I’ve payed attention to how my hearing actually is and it’s very different. It’s like my world is right sided. Disorienting at times and this stresses me out now. Even someone talking to me I can hear them louder in right ear than left. Headphones on everything is right sided. Don’t like to play video games anymore because of the hearing difference. I don’t like to sing anymore because I get somewhat hyper accusis from my own voice and I can hear myself different and it’s not centered. I can’t hear certain crickets in left ear. I got a hearing test with the military and hearing frequencies were all normal up to 6000 hz. I did a test with my headphones on and I can’t hear frequencies above 9,000 hz in my left ear. I think my right goes up to 14 hz. I awaiting an appointment right now to get further testing.
My question is if there’s anybody with similar hearing differences and I’m not asking if hearing comes back cuz I’ve recently learned that one’s the cells die they don’t come back. Is that does this difference get easier to deal with. Does life ever feel normal again. Because this difference has thrown my whole perception of sound off. I’m checking my ears 24/7 and I’m stressing bad. I’m hoping I can get used to this difference between my ears but it’s a hard task.