Does anyone else think Sincere mistakes sincerity for honesty?
I think he mistakes sincerity in the moment for honesty over time.
I think Sincere absolutely knew he was lying! Movie night and him keeping the truth from the boys all point to that. That's not the part I'm questioning. What I'm questioning is why he keeps lying.
My interpretation is that he gets completely wrapped up in whoever he's talking to. Every connection feels real while he's in it, so he says whatever feels true in that moment. Then, when those conversations inevitably collide, he lies because telling the truth means disappointing someone, and he seems completely incapable of sitting with that discomfort. To me, his lies feel less like carefully planned deception and more like an attempt to escape the immediate consequences of the situation he created. Then every new lie creates another problem he has to escape.
That doesn't make him any less manipulative. Melanie should absolutely leave. I just don't know if I see someone who's motivated by exploiting women. To me, he seems more motivated by wanting to be liked, and craves connection.
Maybe I'm giving him too much grace, but I don't think he comes across as someone who has contempt for women or who set out to manipulate them. To me, there's a meaningful difference between manipulating someone because you want power or control and manipulating someone because you're deeply conflict-avoidant, crave validation, and don't know how to handle disappointing people in a healthy way. Neither is okay, and both hurt people. I just don't think all manipulation comes from the same place.
To be clear, I don't think he's a good person right now. I also don't think I'm ready to call him a bad person. I think he's someone with some deeply unhealthy patterns that hurt people, and whether he stays that person probably depends on what he does next..?