My performance check-in felt biased and now I don’t feel comfortable in my workplace
I just had my 3-month performance check-in with my boss and I left feeling really uncomfortable.
She started by saying my performance has actually been great and that I’ve been going above and beyond expectations. But then the conversation suddenly shifted away from my work and became more about my personality and “reputation.”
She told me that I’m “vain” and that I “always want to be pretty.” I was honestly confused because I’ve never said anything like that about myself. Then she started bringing up rumors that apparently exist around the office. She said people think I’m attention-seeking because my heels make noise when I walk, and that some men in the office think I’m looking at them when I’m not.
I tried explaining that maybe some people are misreading things. I’m younger than some of my coworkers and maybe I just look a certain way, but I’m genuinely not interested in any of the men at the office. I also can’t see very well sometimes, so if I happen to look in someone’s direction it doesn’t mean I’m staring at them.
What really made me feel worse was when I brought that up and she kept saying that there are “prettier girls in the office,” asking why I’m the only one with that kind of reputation.
Now I feel uncomfortable and honestly unsafe in my workspace. Am I overreacting here, or does this feel inappropriate?