u/RylesDaArtist

i’m starting to lose my mind. for context i’m 20F and incapable of carrying a fetus to vitality due to health issues. i had a miscarriage at 16 that lead to this discovery.

i want to be a mom one day. i have a plan to foster once im financially stable and in my own house. i’m currently in college and have an amazing boyfriend that’s supportive of my dreams. he’s my only partner i’ve ever had and we’ve been together since i was 15. after my miscarriage i had to try to be okay with the fact that i wouldn’t ever give birth.

i thought i was over it, but for the past couple months ive been having dreams about being pregnant, giving birth, or having a newborn almost EVERY NIGHT. it’s driving me crazy. i wake up crying, missing my baby or missing being pregnant. i grieve my dream babies throughout the day and as soon as i feel normal again, i fall asleep and the cycle continues.

has this happened to anyone else before? is this related to hormones? how can i make them stop?

some extra context: most of my dreams are extremely lucid and im fully aware that im in a dream state. if they don’t start lucid, they are very detailed and chaotic to the point where i will gain consciousness throughout the dream. these pregnancy dreams are so realistic that i don’t think im in a dream at all. i literally wake up in the morning looking for my baby or reaching for my stomach to feel my bump. i believe that these dreams are real because everything that happens in the dreams are extremely realistic. i just want to not be afraid to fall asleep.

hey guysss! i was just thinking about how there seems to be some specific pipelines that lead to developing emetophobia and i want to list them out. Lmk what you think yours developed from!

- R-CPD: this one sounds awful and i seriously wish health and happiness for anyone who struggles with this condition. I don’t have it, but i know a lot of emetophobes do. personally, i get nauseous from trapped gas and a good burp can make me go from 0% to 100%, and it seriously hurts me to know that such a big chunk of yall can’t experience this.

-trauma/bad experience: i assumed this one would be the most common, but i actually don’t hear a lot of people talking about this as their root cause of the phobia. i obviously know that all emetophobia pipelines include some aspect of trauma or bad experience, but what im referencing is someone having a normal stomach bug and he trauma of it causes the phobia.

-OCD: this is what mainly caused mine. i had a therapist tell me before that almost everyone with emetophobia has some form of OCD or OCD tendencies. I truly believe this because of all of the ritualistic behaviors that are associated with the phobia. when i was a kid, i thought if i got sick in an outfit, i couldn’t wear that outfit again without getting sick, eat the same food, do the same activity, etc.

so anyways these are the pipelines i’ve noticed to be pretty consistent amongst most emetophobes. as i said before, mine is mainly caused by ocd but i also had some trauma as well. i was wondering if yall could share what caused yours and if i missed any prominent pipelines!

so like the title says, i was diagnosed with IR yesterday. I’m 20F, 5’5.5, and 164lbs. doctor told me i wasn’t even 20lbs overweight, so i didn’t think this was even a possibility for me to have. i look pretty average, and i go to the gym often. i quit vaping 8 months ago, and my diet is okay, but was pretty carb heavy. i have a sweet tooth and i have a couple chronic illnesses that make me unable to eat a lot of vegetables and fruits. and honestly, what college student ISNT surviving on pasta, rice, and sandwiches?

doctor told me to start the mediterranean diet, and honestly idk how im going to afford it. i live in a tiny town in the midwest, where the nearest grocery store sells produce 3x the price compared to most stores like walmart. and tbh, i dont know how to cook and im very busy (2 jobs and a full time student). idk what im supposed to do😭

anyways, sorry for such an angry/sad post. i thought that if anyone could understand my feelings, it would be you guys. my other chronic illnesses limit my diet so much already, i literally really only had carbs and dairy left. i know im gonna be fine and ill get through this, but at the moment it feels like the cherry on top. any advice/words of encouragement are greatly appreciated.

eta: so now im even more upset because im looking back at my food logs from the past couple months (chronic illness tracking) and i average between 200-260 grams of carbs per day. the recommended daily amount of carbs for an adult woman is 225-325 grams. how could i develop this if i wasn’t even over the recommended amount?! ugh im sorry again its been a rough couple days.