u/S_M_Tanner

“You're not leaving! I told you, you're going to die here. I’m sorry you can’t see them again but you need to get with the program! You might have already ended our world. You're lucky I haven't authorized a vivisection.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?! I told you I had a fucking stroke! I need help! I need a brain scan or an MRI or surgery! I need…”

“Walk me through the events again.”

“I already told you! I fell on the job and hit my head and…”

“Again! In order! In exact detail! Tell me EVERYTHING. Now!”

“Ok. Shit. Shit, I’m just a fucking painter. I work for Jackson & Co. We got a big painting job for this old manor in Druid Hills. Old guy. Didn't want us to move the furniture, just tarp over it. I was up too high on the ladder trying to roll the ceiling, lost my balance and landed on some old, decorative mirror. I don't know how it didn't break but I hit my head then…”

“No...”

“What?”

“Continue.”

“The crew ran over and helped me up but everyone looked… weird. I threw up. My boss freaked out and told me to take the rest of the day off. I felt nauseous and they called me an uber home.”

“Then?”

“I thought the food in my fridge was spoiled or something. My orange juice smelled like turpentine, the cheese smelled bitter, bread smelled like spearmint. All… wrong and… I don't know. I couldn't read anything and I freaked out! My daughter called 911 and an ambulance took me to the hospital.”

“Yes. That's all you remember?”

“The doctor took some blood and said he was going to send me to get scanned. Then he got a call and started acting all nervous. He told me not to leave the room. An hour later people in hazmat suits came and gave me some pills and an inhaler. They put me in another ambulance and brought me here. What the fuck is going on?!”

“It's impossible… but I have no other explanation. Your lab results definitively show chirality.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?!”

“Molecular organic life evolved over time into left and right handed shapes. Asymmetrical. Like little locks and keys. The proteins in your blood are mirrored.”

“So… you mean… I can't read because my blood is backwards? Am I sick? My brain is screwed up and I'm gonna have to carry around a mirror all day from now on?!”

“No. Words aren't the problem. Everything is backwards. Everything. You're lucky oxygen and water aren't chiral, but most biologically relevant molecules are: proteins, sugars, acids, fats… “

“I don't understand! What does that mean?!”

“It means you’re effectively alien life. Your molecules and cells can't interact with ours. You can eat but you can't process anything. You can't get sick. Most of biology won't interact with you anymore at the molecular level.”

“What? How?! Is… is.. That’s a good thing then! I can't get sick anymore!”

“Our bacteria can still grow on and in you, they just won't interact with you. We have you on high dose antibiotics so you don't drown in the short term but in a few weeks you'll die from starvation and vitamin deficiency.”

“I’m… I…”

“Chiral bacteria have no natural predators, no chiral antibiotics. Their only limiting factors are the nutrients and space available.”

“But you said you gave me antibiotics?”

“Yes for OUR bacteria. We have no chiral antibiotics for YOUR chiral bacteria. It’s going to spread unchecked until it runs out of space. Nothing in nature can stop it.”

“Oh God…”

“I've ordered a quarantine for the surrounding region but we have nothing to actually prevent it from spreading to wildlife, people, physical objects. We can't disinfect everything.”

“So I am sick… Can I see my family again? Is there anything you can…”

“Ah here it is. Yes, bring it over here! Quickly! I had a team obtain the mirror you mentioned. Let's hope we can find a way to transport matter or information or… anything.”

“I look… everything looks normal...”

“We can't be sure if your world now has a chiral version of yourself, in the reflection. If it is true, you’re still in the CDC and your world faces the same extinction event.”

“I just want to go back. I don't wanna die here! You promise this will work and I can see my real family again? Those men in the mirror will take me to them?”

“Yes, but I need you to take this vial. It’s crucial for the production of chiral antibiotics, lifesaving. If you’re able to pass back through, your mirror self will bring the mirrored version. I'm praying this swap works.”

“I just… reach out… and I'll pass through myself?”

“Go ahead and try.”

The mirror shatters.

“You're not leaving! I told you, you're going to die here. I’m sorry you can’t see them again but you need to get with the program! You might have already ended our world. You're lucky I haven't authorized a vivisection.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?! I told you I had a fucking stroke! I need help! I need a brain scan or an MRI or surgery! I need…”

“Walk me through the events again.”

“I already told you! I fell on the job and hit my head and…”

“Again! In order! In exact detail! Tell me EVERYTHING. Now!”

“Ok. Shit. Shit, I’m just a fucking painter. I work for Jackson & Co. We got a big painting job for this old manor in Druid Hills. Old guy. Didn't want us to move the furniture, just tarp over it. I was up too high on the ladder trying to roll the ceiling, lost my balance and landed on some old, decorative mirror. I don't know how it didn't break but I hit my head then…”

“No...”

“What?”

“Continue.”

“The crew ran over and helped me up but everyone looked… weird. I threw up. My boss freaked out and told me to take the rest of the day off. I felt nauseous and they called me an uber home.”

“Then?”

“I thought the food in my fridge was spoiled or something. My orange juice smelled like turpentine, the cheese smelled bitter, bread smelled like spearmint. All… wrong and… I don't know. I couldn't read anything and I freaked out! My daughter called 911 and an ambulance took me to the hospital.”

“Yes. That's all you remember?”

“The doctor took some blood and said he was going to send me to get scanned. Then he got a call and started acting all nervous. He told me not to leave the room. An hour later people in hazmat suits came and gave me some pills and an inhaler. They put me in another ambulance and brought me here. What the fuck is going on?!”

“It's impossible… but I have no other explanation. Your lab results definitively show chirality.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?!”

“Molecular organic life evolved over time into left and right handed shapes. Asymmetrical. Like little locks and keys. The proteins in your blood are mirrored.”

“So… you mean… I can't read because my blood is backwards? Am I sick? My brain is screwed up and I'm gonna have to carry around a mirror all day from now on?!”

“No. Words aren't the problem. Everything is backwards. Everything. You're lucky oxygen and water aren't chiral, but most biologically relevant molecules are: proteins, sugars, acids, fats… “

“I don't understand! What does that mean?!”

“It means you’re effectively alien life. Your molecules and cells can't interact with ours. You can eat but you can't process anything. You can't get sick. Most of biology won't interact with you anymore at the molecular level.”

“What? How?! Is… is.. That’s a good thing then! I can't get sick anymore!”

“Our bacteria can still grow on and in you, they just won't interact with you. We have you on high dose antibiotics so you don't drown in the short term but in a few weeks you'll die from starvation and vitamin deficiency.”

“I’m… I…”

“Chiral bacteria have no natural predators, no chiral antibiotics. Their only limiting factors are the nutrients and space available.”

“But you said you gave me antibiotics?”

“Yes for OUR bacteria. We have no chiral antibiotics for YOUR chiral bacteria. It’s going to spread unchecked until it runs out of space. Nothing in nature can stop it.”

“Oh God…”

“I've ordered a quarantine for the surrounding region but we have nothing to actually prevent it from spreading to wildlife, people, physical objects. We can't disinfect everything.”

“So I am sick… Can I see my family again? Is there anything you can…”

“Ah here it is. Yes, bring it over here! Quickly! I had a team obtain the mirror you mentioned. Let's hope we can find a way to transport matter or information or… anything.”

“I look… everything looks normal...”

“We can't be sure if your world now has a chiral version of yourself, in the reflection. If it is true, you’re still in the CDC and your world faces the same extinction event.”

“I just want to go back. I don't wanna die here! You promise this will work and I can see my real family again? Those men in the mirror will take me to them?”

“Yes, but I need you to take this vial. It’s crucial for the production of chiral antibiotics, lifesaving. If you’re able to pass back through, your mirror self will bring the mirrored version. I'm praying this swap works.”

“I just… reach out… and I'll pass through myself?”

“Go ahead and try.”

The mirror shatters.

“You're not leaving! I told you, you're going to die here. I’m sorry you can’t see them again but you need to get with the program! You might have already ended our world. You're lucky I haven't authorized a vivisection.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?! I told you I had a fucking stroke! I need help! I need a brain scan or an MRI or surgery! I need…”

“Walk me through the events again.”

“I already told you! I fell on the job and hit my head and…”

“Again! In order! In exact detail! Tell me EVERYTHING. Now!”

“Ok. Shit. Shit, I’m just a fucking painter. I work for Jackson & Co. We got a big painting job for this old manor in Druid Hills. Old guy. Didn't want us to move the furniture, just tarp over it. I was up too high on the ladder trying to roll the ceiling, lost my balance and landed on some old, decorative mirror. I don't know how it didn't break but I hit my head then…”

“No...”

“What?”

“Continue.”

“The crew ran over and helped me up but everyone looked… weird. I threw up. My boss freaked out and told me to take the rest of the day off. I felt nauseous and they called me an uber home.”

“Then?”

“I thought the food in my fridge was spoiled or something. My orange juice smelled like turpentine, the cheese smelled bitter, bread smelled like spearmint. All… wrong and… I don't know. I couldn't read anything and I freaked out! My daughter called 911 and an ambulance took me to the hospital.”

“Yes. That's all you remember?”

“The doctor took some blood and said he was going to send me to get scanned. Then he got a call and started acting all nervous. He told me not to leave the room. An hour later people in hazmat suits came and gave me some pills and an inhaler. They put me in another ambulance and brought me here. What the fuck is going on?!”

“It's impossible… but I have no other explanation. Your lab results definitively show chirality.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?!”

“Molecular organic life evolved over time into left and right handed shapes. Asymmetrical. Like little locks and keys. The proteins in your blood are mirrored.”

“So… you mean… I can't read because my blood is backwards? Am I sick? My brain is screwed up and I'm gonna have to carry around a mirror all day from now on?!”

“No. Words aren't the problem. Everything is backwards. Everything. You're lucky oxygen and water aren't chiral, but most biologically relevant molecules are: proteins, sugars, acids, fats… “

“I don't understand! What does that mean?!”

“It means you’re effectively alien life. Your molecules and cells can't interact with ours. You can eat but you can't process anything. You can't get sick. Most of biology won't interact with you anymore at the molecular level.”

“What? How?! Is… is.. That’s a good thing then! I can't get sick anymore!”

“Our bacteria can still grow on and in you, they just won't interact with you. We have you on high dose antibiotics so you don't drown in the short term but in a few weeks you'll die from starvation and vitamin deficiency.”

“I’m… I…”

“Chiral bacteria have no natural predators, no chiral antibiotics. Their only limiting factors are the nutrients and space available.”

“But you said you gave me antibiotics?”

“Yes for OUR bacteria. We have no chiral antibiotics for YOUR chiral bacteria. It’s going to spread unchecked until it runs out of space. Nothing in nature can stop it.”

“Oh God…”

“I've ordered a quarantine for the surrounding region but we have nothing to actually prevent it from spreading to wildlife, people, physical objects. We can't disinfect everything.”

“So I am sick… Can I see my family again? Is there anything you can…”

“Ah here it is. Yes, bring it over here! Quickly! I had a team obtain the mirror you mentioned. Let's hope we can find a way to transport matter or information or… anything.”

“I look… everything looks normal...”

“We can't be sure if your world now has a chiral version of yourself, in the reflection. If it is true, you’re still in the CDC and your world faces the same extinction event.”

“I just want to go back. I don't wanna die here! You promise this will work and I can see my real family again? Those men in the mirror will take me to them?”

“Yes, but I need you to take this vial. It’s crucial for the production of chiral antibiotics, lifesaving. If you’re able to pass back through, your mirror self will bring the mirrored version. I'm praying this swap works.”

“I just… reach out… and I'll pass through myself?”

“Go ahead and try.”

The mirror shatters.

“You're not leaving! I told you, you're going to die here. I’m sorry you can’t see them again but you need to get with the program! You might have already ended our world. You're lucky I haven't authorized a vivisection.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?! I told you I had a fucking stroke! I need help! I need a brain scan or an MRI or surgery! I need…”

“Walk me through the events again.”

“I already told you! I fell on the job and hit my head and…”

“Again! In order! In exact detail! Tell me EVERYTHING. Now!”

“Ok. Shit. Shit, I’m just a fucking painter. I work for Jackson & Co. We got a big painting job for this old manor in Druid Hills. Old guy. Didn't want us to move the furniture, just tarp over it. I was up too high on the ladder trying to roll the ceiling, lost my balance and landed on some old, decorative mirror. I don't know how it didn't break but I hit my head then…”

“No...”

“What?”

“Continue.”

“The crew ran over and helped me up but everyone looked… weird. I threw up. My boss freaked out and told me to take the rest of the day off. I felt nauseous and they called me an uber home.”

“Then?”

“I thought the food in my fridge was spoiled or something. My orange juice smelled like turpentine, the cheese smelled bitter, bread smelled like spearmint. All… wrong and… I don't know. I couldn't read anything and I freaked out! My daughter called 911 and an ambulance took me to the hospital.”

“Yes. That's all you remember?”

“The doctor took some blood and said he was going to send me to get scanned. Then he got a call and started acting all nervous. He told me not to leave the room. An hour later people in hazmat suits came and gave me some pills and an inhaler. They put me in another ambulance and brought me here. What the fuck is going on?!”

“It's impossible… but I have no other explanation. Your lab results definitively show chirality.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?!”

“Molecular organic life evolved over time into left and right handed shapes. Asymmetrical. Like little locks and keys. The proteins in your blood are mirrored.”

“So… you mean… I can't read because my blood is backwards? Am I sick? My brain is screwed up and I'm gonna have to carry around a mirror all day from now on?!”

“No. Words aren't the problem. Everything is backwards. Everything. You're lucky oxygen and water aren't chiral, but most biologically relevant molecules are: proteins, sugars, acids, fats… “

“I don't understand! What does that mean?!”

“It means you’re effectively alien life. Your molecules and cells can't interact with ours. You can eat but you can't process anything. You can't get sick. Most of biology won't interact with you anymore at the molecular level.”

“What? How?! Is… is.. That’s a good thing then! I can't get sick anymore!”

“Our bacteria can still grow on and in you, they just won't interact with you. We have you on high dose antibiotics so you don't drown in the short term but in a few weeks you'll die from starvation and vitamin deficiency.”

“I’m… I…”

“Chiral bacteria have no natural predators, no chiral antibiotics. Their only limiting factors are the nutrients and space available.”

“But you said you gave me antibiotics?”

“Yes for OUR bacteria. We have no chiral antibiotics for YOUR chiral bacteria. It’s going to spread unchecked until it runs out of space. Nothing in nature can stop it.”

“Oh God…”

“I've ordered a quarantine for the surrounding region but we have nothing to actually prevent it from spreading to wildlife, people, physical objects. We can't disinfect everything.”

“So I am sick… Can I see my family again? Is there anything you can…”

“Ah here it is. Yes, bring it over here! Quickly! I had a team obtain the mirror you mentioned. Let's hope we can find a way to transport matter or information or… anything.”

“I look… everything looks normal...”

“We can't be sure if your world now has a chiral version of yourself, in the reflection. If it is true, you’re still in the CDC and your world faces the same extinction event.”

“I just want to go back. I don't wanna die here! You promise this will work and I can see my real family again? Those men in the mirror will take me to them?”

“Yes, but I need you to take this vial. It’s crucial for the production of chiral antibiotics, lifesaving. If you’re able to pass back through, your mirror self will bring the mirrored version. I'm praying this swap works.”

“I just… reach out… and I'll pass through myself?”

“Go ahead and try.”

The mirror shatters.

Ever since I was a child, I've always hated the setting sun. The gaudy, carnival of colors. The finality of Today and the nagging anxiety of what I put off for Tomorrow. Some internal machination swelling depression to the rhythm of the tides, accumulating melancholy in my veins like sepsis, only relinquishes its grip once dusk settles.

Though my suburban surroundings bathed in a lake of gold, I was shielded by guilty optimism. Finally! The first night of solitude in almost half a year since Hunter's birth felt like light at the end of a tunnel. A warm breeze tickled my skin as I pulled into the driveway of my two-story home. The end of the workweek marked the first day of Spring, closure to the long and punishing winter. Back then I thought I'd known what to expect, that his first breath would naturally unlock some primal spark within me. I waited patiently but only found a yoke and a procession of sleepless nights. I whittled through my patience months ago.

The smell of onions caramelizing in a pan greeted me from the kitchen window as I climbed the concrete steps and turned the slender handle of the side door.

"Daddy's home! Look Hunter! It's Daddy!" Kate's voice chimed as she dried her hands with a small maroon towel by the sink. "Hey, change of plans but I actually need you to watch him this weekend. I thought he could come with me to the wedding in Pittsburgh, but I'll be too busy as the Matron of Honor to take care of him. I'm really sorry to put this on you last minute."

"Oh... um... It's ok, yeah I'll watch him I guess..." I grumbled as I closed the heavy door and began unpacking my work bag. "I was just really looking forward to having a night to myself. It's been so long and..."

"I get it and I'm sorry," snapped Kate impatiently as she wrangled Hunter into his highchair. "I made you two dinner. It's on the stove and a bottle by the sink. I prepped enough bottles for the whole weekend," she said, pointing to the fridge. "You have everything you need." She checked her phone, shaking her head. "I'm running late. I love you guys!" She kissed Hunter on the head as he drooled on a cucumber slice. "I'll call you in like 5 or 6 hours when I get to the hotel. Be good Hunter! Be good to Dada!"

We said our farewells as she opened the door and headed out. Hunter and I silently eyed each other as I ate and he covered himself with lukewarm steak and onion puree. I lugged him upstairs for his evening ritual and prepared the tub. He rubbed soap in his eye and began to scream. As I doused his face, I heard the faint squeal of the side door open downstairs.

I called out, "Hey, Kate! Are you back for him already or did you forget something?"

Between Hunter's wailing and huffing sobs, I could make out muffled rustling in the kitchen, then movement at the bottom of the staircase.

"You good?!" I tried again, louder this time.

The side door slammed shut.

"We love you too!" I shouted. "Yes... we... do... Don't we, Hunter?"

I rinsed the bubbles off and laid him on a dry towel. He always gets fussier before bed, the witching hour.

Exiting the bathroom, I took a brisk step onto something hard and slick, losing my footing on the lacquered hardwood.

"Shit! I..."

Falling face-first, clung tightly as I could to the squirming mass of towel and child, I could only think to brace with my elbows. I hit the floor at the edge of the top step and slid. Hunter slipped free from the towel. Before I could even process it, he was tumbling like a ragdoll, impacting every few steps until the landing, finally smashing his little... his... his crying pulled me back in.

I looked down. Hunter's head, cradled in my shaking hands, hovered in the air, inches over the edge. Horrible thoughts flooded my mind and left just as quickly.

"What the fuck did I fucking step on? My clothes are all wet. Damn it!"

I turned to see milk pooling before the bathroom doorway from a half-emptied glass baby bottle I must have dropped.

I placed Hunter in his crib, much to his dismay, changed, and hurried downstairs to the kitchen to heat a new bottle. I couldn't find any bottles in the fridge, so I angrily grabbed a milk packet from the freezer, put in my earbuds, and turned up the music to drown out his shrieks. As I stared at the steam steadily rising from the bottle warmer, I began to zone out, the drums slowly transforming into heavy footsteps. I took an earbud out and turned around. All I could hear was Hunter crying and the hum of the refrigerator. I locked the side door and headed back upstairs.

I got Hunter and I situated in the old rocking chair. After Goodnight Moon, the bottle drifted him to sleep as the last strands of golden silk retreated to the curtain's unfurled edges before disappearing entirely. The room decayed into a monochromatic pandemonium of carmine and pitch. Pictures on the wall deformed into Rorschach tests. The crib bars stood tall like distant Roman columns. The solitary crimson nightlight carved deep chasms, turning familiar furniture into skulking beasts.

After two failed transfer attempts, he finally lay soundly on the crib's firm mattress. I quietly cursed the creaking door as I held it ajar. My carefully placed footsteps over the old hardwood planks threatened to restart the process. Holding my breath, I closed the door behind me and bounded to the hall stairs in a smooth motion, heading down to indulge in my evening. While guiding my hand along the wooden banister I paused for a moment to power on the baby monitor. I briefly glanced at it, then did a double take. I always get an uncanny feeling peeking at the crackling static of the black-and-white video feed, as if when I look, I'll see something smiling back at me from the dark, fuzzy corner of the screen.

I smiled as I fired up my PC, grabbed some beers from the fridge, and put my headset on. Even if tonight wasn't my night, I'd make it mine.

Though none of my friends were on Discord, I wasn't one to waste the evening, even if sleep beckoned. I was halfway through a pirated episode of Dexter when I heard whimpering through the walkie-talkie speaker of the baby monitor. I lowered the bottle from my lips.

"Ughh, already?" I rubbed my eyes. "He'll probably roll over and be fine in a minute," I thought to myself, trying vainly to suppress my guilt.

Suddenly, Hunter screamed so loudly, I heard it through the walls. I dropped my beer and ran upstairs.

By the time I reached the open door of the nursery, Hunter wasn't crying anymore. The crib bars cast zebra stripe shadows over his dim, red face. He just... stared at me, blankly. His eyes, wider than I'd ever seen, continued to track me while the rest of his body remained motionless. I took him from the crib up into my arms. He didn't make a sound. Squeezing him tightly, my gentle swaying devolved into a torpid dance. As the minutes dragged on, I began to feel dizzy. I shambled over throwing-rings, small wooden blocks, and an empty bottle to the other side of the room. My shadow grew as I moved, engulfing the room until I clumsily sunk into the creaky rocking chair in the corner. Patting Hunter with a heavy hand, I blinked drowsily and began to drunkenly rock like a toddler on a seesaw.

"I'm exhausted," I hissed quietly. "Please just go to sleep."

My heavy lids fought lazily then gave in.

"Please... please... please..."

I awoke alone in complete darkness to the crackling white noise of the sound machine. I lifted my crooked head from the drool on my chest. Assuming the battery died, I unplugged the sound machine and plugged the nightlight into its spot in the outlet, reigniting the room in a silent, red inferno. Whimpering cut my attention and I groggily slumped from the hard rocking chair and crawled across the room, parking myself on a playmat beside the crib. I squeezed my arm between the wooden slots and felt around for Hunter. I was all the way to my shoulder before I felt him. He felt small and softer than I expected.

"Shhhh... shhhh... shhh... just let me rest my eyes for a minute... please..."

The thin playtime rug did little to soften the old oak floorboards. My back ached as the black silhouette of the ceiling fan came into hazy focus and I realized my phone had been ringing. For how long? Where am I? Shit! It's going to wake him! I hurried to picked it up.

"Hello?" I answered, groggily."

"Hey! Is everything alright? I've been calling for half an hour!"

"Shit. Sorry Kate. I fell asleep putting Hunter back to bed. My head is killing me... I..."

"I made it to the hotel. I'm unpacking now but I wanted to make sure you were ok. I know you wanted time to yourself but really try to make the most of it anyway. I know you didn't feel that connection you expected at the hospital, but connection takes time for some people and..."

"I know, I know," I interrupted.

"Ok I'll let you get back to sleep. It's good to hear your voice. You're a great Dad, just remember I said that."

"Thanks... I love you."

"Love you too."

I breathed a heavy sigh of relief, and a thin smile grew on my face. As I hung up the phone, I sat back against the crib and closed my eyes, relaxed my shoulders, and focused on the soft waves of the sound machine.

Shhhhhh... Shhhhhh... Shhhhhh...

My heart pumped and my eyes shot open. I frantically scanned the room, then my blood froze. A naked man stood in the doorway, frozen like a deer in headlights, not 5 feet from me. A towering hunchback, portraited ominously by the nightlight, blood red against a stygian hall. His gaunt features worsened the longer I stared. A grotesque facsimile, caught mid step. Beady eyes like broken marbles set deeply in fleshy sockets. A limp tongue dangled wetly from a slack and toothy jaw. Its flat face made my stomach churn, like looking at the inside of a cast iron pan. Its lanky body covered in dark, dripping fur. The reeking smell of spoiling milk was building to a gut punch when I finally noticed. Hunter was clasped tightly in its arms.

It took all my strength to break the unreal shock like sleep paralysis. I jerked my head left and saw an empty sleep sack through the crib bars. Immediately, I turned back, catching the last glimpse of the monster disappearing down the unlit stairs.

I vaulted up and bolted to the stairs taking three in stride, jumping the other eleven into total darkness. I landed hard and hit the wall harder, rolling my ankle.

I heard the jingling of the side door's lock and pushed myself to my feet. I felt my way through the shadows, past the old dining room table and chairs, using them like crutches as I went, fighting the searing pain until I felt cold kitchen tile under my bare feet. The door screamed open and the dark figure slipped out into the abyssal night.

I sprinted out the door and squinted at my surrounds. I saw a jerky shape galloping down the moonlit street and heard wailing from the end of the driveway. A whirlpool of emotions overtook me as I made my way to Hunter.

"Thank God it dropped him! Please be ok," I begged.

I dove to the pavement and wrapped my arms around him. Everything was wrong. He was crying but he was cold and stiff and felt different, lighter in my hands. I turned my phone's flashlight on and lost it. This wasn't Hunter. It wasn't a baby.

My skin crawled and my heart ached. My phone slipped from my shaking hands. I couldn't process it. I hurried back to the side door, now shut and locked. I felt waves of uncontrollable panic, anxiety I didn't know possible. I shambled through the trees and damp grass to the backyard shed to find the spare key. I heard the buzzing swarm of mosquitos surround me, felt the skittering bites of wolf spiders begin to itch, and cut my hands in the dark on who knows what, but I couldn't stop. I finally plucked the key from a rusty toolbox and wiped the blood and cobwebs from my hot face as I dashed back to the house. Wheezing and fumbling, I jammed the key into the doorknob. The door furiously swung open and I moved like hell upstairs to the nursery, turning on every light in the house as I went.

I flooded the room with yellow light and rushed to the crib. There was Hunter, lying on his side, sleeping peacefully, oblivious. I didn't know what to do or think or say, I just pushed his changing table, bookshelf, rocking chair, trashcan, anything I could find, into a large pile against the door. I sunk to the floor, my back sharply against the hard barricade, and began to pray as I choked back tears. The gentle shushing sound had returned to the hallway, slowly inching closer until it was just outside the door. I grimaced as I heard the slow clicking of the doorknob turning.

Shhhhhh... Shhhhhh... Shhhhhh...

I flinched when I felt a heavy thump, then an overwhelming pressure began to creep open the door about an inch or two, but my straining muscles and the heavy barricade held firm at last. I didn't dare look behind me until I felt it let up. I waited and waited until the shushing whispers turned hoarse, until dawn when the strands of gold returned to embroider the curtains, until the choir of Chickadees and Wrens sang loud, until the midday sunlight sanctified the room.

Hunter slept much longer than usual, but eventually he woke and smiled when he saw me. I took him into my arms, hugging him tighter than I ever had before, kissing him over and over until his hair was dewy with my tears. His growling stomach eventually forced me to tear down the barricade and face my fears.

I warily cracked the door open and peeked into the empty hall. I clutched Hunter tightly and tip-toed down the stairs to the kitchen. The late afternoon sun cast long grids of golden rectangles across the walls and furniture, calming my nerves somewhat. I felt a bit safer holding a sturdy chef's knife from the silverware drawer. While heating a milk bottle, I put on a pot of coffee. I was at a breaking point of exhaustion, but I would not allow myself to sleep until Kate came home tomorrow evening. I finished bottle-feeding Hunter just as the heavy sun began to drift the horizon.

Suddenly, the side door unlocked and swung opened. I sprung to my feet, knife in hand, standing guard over Hunter with fire in my veins.

"Hunter, I'm home!" Sung out Kate. "Hey, I found your phone in the driveway? Why haven't you been answering, I've been panicking all weekend!"

"I... I... All weekend?" I said, flabbergasted. "I... must have dropped it... taking out the trash, I've been looking for it... all weekend."

The truth felt impossible. It never made it out of my throat. Everything was ok. It would be. It had to be. I questioned everything. Did I take medicine last night? I took my temperature. 98.6F.

We carried out Hunter's bedtime routine together, but I told Kate the sound machine broke, I'd get a new one, a different one, tomorrow. He fell asleep breastfeeding in her arms. Looking at his chubby cheeks, peacefully snoring and snuggling in soundly to Kate's loving, motherly embrace, it finally clicked. I felt so proud as I gently laid him in his crib and leaned down to kiss him goodnight. I think I actually convinced myself everything was ok until I walked into our bedroom. Spilled milk bottles littered the floor. Kate trailed in behind me.

"Hey, I thought you said the sound machine was broken?"