I thought I was getting a 5 but got a 4
So story time here because i am beyond depressed. I took apush this year as a sophmore but my school doesn't have ap classes so i completely self studied it no help. However, I took american hisotry in both freshman and junior year as a class, but it was basically all reading and no concrete history. At the begininng of this year I decided to take ap bio and apush, and fully self study for both. i studied everything on khan academy and took super detailed notes of every single little thing (I have 82 pages of single spaced arial size 11 notes of chapters 1-9). By about the end of march I had already learned all the material so i started reviewing all my notes over and over and taking countless practice frqs and mcqs. I took 5 whole tests before the real exam, and every test but the first I scored a 5, even ending my last one with a 93% overall. I even didn't do the ap bio exam just so that I could secure a 5 in apush. It was all I thought about for the 2 weeks leading to the test, and i would go on this subreddit and just look over all online to find new strategies and help me study and active recall and I did basically anything you could ever thing of.
The night before test day I could not sleep and ended up getting about 3 hours. When I arrived to the testing facility I wasn't even that nervous, and actually pretty confident in myself. I knew what I needed to do and I trusted my preperation. During the test everything was pretty much a blur, but i remember not feeling too good about my mcq but the writing was fine. Wasn't super clear but in my opinion it checked all the boxes. After the test I was feeling good and happy that it was over.
I just feel like i did everything right and was even feeling confident (which is something I struggle with). This was one of the first things in life that I every trully commited myslef to and tried so hard with. I studied and thought more about this exam more than basically anything else ever in my life. I put in so much time and determination all to fuck it up on test day. I even quit another ap for the sole purpose of getting a 5 and was confident in myself just to let myself down. I see people who studied 1/4 as much as me get a 5 and I just feel so shit. I know its not that big of a deal but it doesn't show the true amount of work i put into it. people will just assume i didn't study THAT much. This has ruined me and I cannot stop thinking about it. I want to go to good schools as a history major and this 4 is ruining me for that. please help