How do I make it stick?
I’ve been smoking cigarettes for the past 11 years. I’ve tried to quit more times than I can remember. I’ve tried Chantix, nicorette gum, patches, candy, chewing/breathing through straws, Allan Carr books, writing down what I’m feeling when I want a cigarette, cold turkey; I’m probably forgetting some things. I think the longest I’ve gone without smoking in 11 years was 3 months; years ago. More recently, I can go maybe a week. I just go right back to it every time I feel some type of extreme emotion. I’ve tried to replace it with healthy habits and for the first time in my life actually have a solid morning routine down.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half now and I’ve been trying to quit the entire time we’ve been together. He’s always been incredibly supportive and says he believes in me and my ability to quit. But I’m scared he’s losing faith in me and I really don’t want to know what will happen if that time comes.
Today was supposed to be my new quit day cause the 8th didn’t stick. I decided to do other things on my to-do list after my morning routine. I felt good about getting things done so I went out, sat in the gas station parking lot for 20 minutes fighting with myself. I bought a pack and smoked one, went home crying because I felt so defeated and disappointed in myself.
I even bought a brand new car so I wouldn’t smoke in my car.
All these things I do; telling myself if I do this thing, then I won’t smoke. Yet, I find some type of work around so I can keep smoking.
I don’t have a stable job, I have no money, I’m charging everything to a credit card. I know what I’m doing is not okay, I don’t know how to stop myself.
Does anyone have any advice to help it stick?
What’s helped you the most?