u/SalamanderWest3468

Hi everyone. I’m in a foster-to-adopt situation with a 12-week-old black lab puppy and I’m really struggling with whether to adopt him.

The puppy is relatively easy. He enjoys his crate and doesn’t fuss when he’s put in there. He sleeps through the night (I just wake him up to pee/poo once around 2 or 3am). He’s honestly incredibly sweet and easygoing. He plays with my resident dog but doesn’t constantly bother her, doesn’t compete for her ball, settles easily, and so far just seems like a really lovely puppy. There’s nothing about him that’s making me question keeping him, which almost makes this harder.

My resident dog is 6, mostly blind and can be reactive in situations that scare her or around strangers. We chose foster-to-adopt specifically because I wanted to make sure bringing another dog into the house would work for her. The surprising part is that she actually really likes the puppy. She plays with him and seems to enjoy having him around, while still wanting all of her normal routines with me.

What I wasn’t prepared for was how emotional I would feel about permanently changing our life from one dog to two. I’ve had so much mental focus on the puppy since he arrived and I feel incredibly guilty about my older dog being displaced in any way.

The puppy is also SO easy that I’ve found myself worrying about the comparison. He’ll likely be easier to take out into the world, to bars, on trips, etc., and I’m scared of him eventually becoming the “easy dog” or even the favorite with my husband while my older dog becomes the difficult one who gets left behind. It honestly breaks my heart to think about.

The weird thing is that I’m the one who really wanted another dog. My husband used to say he didn’t think our dog needed a friend and would talk about how connected she is to us. Now that this basically ideal puppy is actually here, I’m questioning whether I really want our family dynamic to change.

I miss the sweet, simple routines we had with just her. I miss not thinking about divided attention. But then I look at this puppy and love him and think about everything he could add to our family and to her life too, and the thought of letting him get adopted absolutely guts me.

I guess I’m wondering if anyone else has gone through this with a second dog or foster-to-adopt puppy. Did you feel this kind of guilt or grief over your life with your first dog changing, even when the dogs actually got along? Did it settle once everyone adjusted? Or did you realize that you genuinely preferred having one dog?

I’m exhausted from thinking about it and angry at myself because I thought this would be an easy decision if the dogs got along. They do. The puppy is wonderful. And somehow I’m still completely torn

Hi all, I’ve been fostering a puppy for a month now with the intention of foster-to-adopt. We have a mostly blind 6 year old resident dog who is fear reactive to new dogs/people and it took her about a week to be comfortable with him, but now they play and seem to really enjoy each other.

The problem I’m having isn’t with the dog himself it’s actually with the emotional dynamics in my home changing. I thought I wanted a 2nd dog so badly. I kept wondering and looking at adoption sites and this fostering opportunity came up so we took it. We have fostered in the past and I know it leads to heartbreak for me so I have to take big breaks. He’s a very good & easy puppy but I’m struggling with the transition mentally, if I can handle our focus getting split.

I’m worried about our older special needs dog becoming the “difficult” dog and the younger easy pup getting to go more places and do more things and honestly splitting my energy has been so tough. I know things may balance out as he gets older if we decide to adopt him….

Have any of you been in a situation like this? Did a 2nd dog eventually bring peace and companionship to your dog or should I continue to just pour love into our current dog and find this guy a home? I’m just so completely torn (and sleep deprived at the moment) thanks for any advice or input. If we find another home for him I am going to need to take a break from fostering for a little while as this has been emotionally so exhausting. He is truly the sweetest and easiest pup though which is why it’s so hard