I (27F) my "situationship" (26M) called my life “unserious” because I actually enjoy it
I really need a sanity check because my brain is fried. I recently ended things with this guy, but he left me questioning reality.
I’m 27, financially independent, has many hobbies, spent this winter traveling around Asia. My ex situationship is getting his PhD in AI, works full time as a Data Scientist and considers himself an elite intellectual.
The breaking point? He complained that my life is not serious and mature enough and generally he "doesn’t know what I do all day." When I asked if he’d ever bothered to ask, he said: "I don't ask questions. If you're passionate, you just talk. If you don't, there’s nothing there."
Then he sent a 3-minute voice note doubling down. He literally told me he can't see me as his girlfriend because I dress "like a girl, not a woman" and position myself more like a teenager, although he kept saying how sweet, kind, loving, and deeply caring I am, and how amazing I would be in a relationship. He claimed my life lacks "seriousness" and my goals aren't "grand" enough. "You have a job, hobbies, travel a lot but what’s next? Just enjoying life? That’s kind of... whatever." All because I dress comfy/trendy and refuse to grind 24/7.
Is working, traveling, and actually being happy really "unserious"? What was his goal here?