Why does every medication I try work for some time but then stop weeks later? Am I missing something?
Over the last couple of years (between 2-3) I have been struggling a lot with depression. I had finally broke and started up therapy again because I was at a point where I was missing work frequently, not completing tasks, and overall suffering severely from anhedonia. This was not at all the person who I used to be. I used to be someone that could never sit still, was always finding something to do, always getting into new hobbies and projects, etc. now I find myself stuck in bed or on the couch scrolling through my phone and struggling to do anything as it just requires too much effort.
I have been on Effexor since I was 19 (I’m 26F) for panic disorder, cPTSD, and generalized anxiety. It has done wonders for my anxiety to the point I almost missed having anxiety. I thought that maybe being on my medication so long that it had began to “numb” me… since I had never had depression before. So I talked with my doctor and had them decrease my dose (I had been on the max dose for years) in hopes that I’d get some of my “Spunk” back that the anxiety gave me. About a year went by and no change. My doctor thought that maybe we could add an additional anti depressant medication and so he tried Lexapro. That medication caused severe suicidal thoughts and constant crying. I immediately stoped it and asked about trying Trintellix because I heard lots of good things about it. He respected my wishes and sent out a script but insurance ended up saying no. At that point he thought I’d be best if a saw a professional…
So this last year and a half I was sent to a psychiatrist where I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and was sent on a path to find an additional medication to help. Due to my reaction to lexapro she thought I’d be best to combat my symptoms with an antipsychotic instead because sometimes two antidepressants together can increase chances of suicidal thoughts? So I was first started on aripiprazole and it worked for the first couple of weeks. I felt good but around week 5/6 I started having severe panic attacks again (which was under control for years) and developed restless leg syndrome. I was stopped on it and moved to Risperidone. This medication caused extreme hunger to the point it felt like an addiction (food was ALL I thought about) and I was a bit more tired on it. Few weeks go by and we decided to stop this because it wasn’t helping. She then recommended Vraylar and sent out a script… then the insurance sad no. At this point I was defeated with all the time put into this and with insurance saying no to two medications at this point. So I stopped seeing her and took my health into my own hands again.
I switched health providers and was set out to see if there was an additional cause to my “depression”. I have also been struggling with weight the last 5-6 years. I had gained 60 pounds in 4 months and have been trouble shaking it. I had always had issues GAINING weight so I was thinking maybe there is something metabolic going on and thyroid runs rampant in my blood line. Bloodwork on hormones, metabolic, etc all back NORMAL. Back to square one.
Doctor recommended I increase my Effexor again and see if that helps. I agreed but wasn’t hopeful. I thought maybe it’s something I am doing wrong. I was depressed in my job and had no life goals. So maybe that was the fix? I quite my job and pursued schooling again. This was January of 2026. Slowly but surely I felt great. I was making moves in life again, meeting people, motivated. I started a calorie deficit and had lost 10 pounds. Life was GOOD. Doctor was convinced it was the increase in Effexor. I was convinced it was the change in lifestyle. Maybe it was both. But here I am again. The last few months have slowly gotten worse. I stopped my calorie deficit a few weeks ago, started laying around more, stopped walking, and my bad thoughts are crowding my head again. I’m starting to think that the Effexor has once again worn off in its antidepressant abilities.
I don’t even know anymore. I was so happy with getting by without needing another medication. I’m exhausted thinking about starting the process up again. I feel like they aren’t working and when they do it’s short lived. Could there be something the doctors are all missing? The two symptoms that are really bothersome for me is this deep feeling of loneliness and anhedonia. I know one of the primary doctors briefly threw out the words BP2 but wasn’t super convinced. I had thought I had BPD but my last therapist didn’t really think so or at least didn’t think a diagnosis would help… I’m starting to think maybe I’m slightly autistic and that’s why I having difficulty with friends and feel such deep loneliness but I think I’m just grasping for some explanation for why I feel this way and why nothing is working. It’s really hard for me to grasp when I have went years of my life being the complete opposite of what I am now and have so much (I have a house, supporting family, pets, a career, a degree, school, and a loving partner of 9 years)… the only thing missing is s solid friendship…. So WHY am I like this and why are the meds not working? Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.