u/Sea_Philosopher_2731

Very American post ik haha but proud of everyone in other countries as well. It’s not always the easiest on holidays but i hope you’re all still having a nice night! And tmrw will not be lost :)

I drove 6hrs to stay at my friends for the weekend and knew they were having a July 4th party. Originally i was going to let myself get drunk, but then I found out there would be more stuff at the party, and also i wouldn’t know anyone besides my friend.

I’ve never had a diagnosed problem w alcohol or substances, but I think I’ve used them in definitely the wrong ways before, and I’ve really been working on myself lately and I’m worried i would do more than drinking if i stayed.

I’m sad to be leaving my friend two days early and to be spending the 4th alone on a long drive haha, but part of me is so proud of myself. Old me would have 100% stayed and used it as an excuse to go all in. I know i might miss out on some fun, and wish i could wear the cute outfit i had planned hahah, but ik im doing what’s best for my body and health

Drove 6hrs to stay at a friends for the 4th of July weekend. Once i got here he told me some stuff about the party including that there will be coke. I’ve done it a few times, and used to be a heavier drinker but have been down to special occasions only the past 2 yrs

I struggle w chronic jaw pain so ik coke would absolutely ruin that, also i dont wanna get blacked out, but i wont know anyone at the party so wud drink to cope w anxiety and i have a hard time saying no to coke when drunk. I also haven’t been drunk in awhile so not sure how I’ll hold up.

Part of me thinks i should drive home tmrw morning even tho i was supposed to stay till Monday. Part of me is getting excited at the thought of alcohol as we’re planning the party tmrw.

Part of me wants to have a wild night, part of me thinks it would set back my healing. Leaving would also dissapointed my friend :/ i just don’t know if i trust myself not to do coke while drinking. But also would mean just spending the 4th alone on a long drive lol

I’m not completely sober i went down to special occasions only (weddings, NYE), from previously binge drinking almost every weekend and casually drinking thru out the week, but recently had a few extra “vacation” drinks a few weeks ago bc i deal w chronic pain and i just really wanted to enjoy myself on vacation.

But i got some news i ddnt want today and it’s been a hard few weeks and im struggling. I feel like i keep going in circles w appts and im exhausted. I know alcohol won’t help AT ALL i know that. Ik it’ll make the inflammation worse, the anxiety worse, the headaches worse. But i just want some relief so bad.

I already meditated today, i had therapy yesterday. I talked to my friends. I don’t like eating. Rn i just plan on going on a long drive after work bc you can’t drink if ur driving! Lol. Probably make some tea after. But man i just want the relief that it would bring so so bad. Just like a single moment of relief would be so nice :( im still in my 20s so that may also be it, just seeing ppl casually drinking all the time ahaha

Any other tips or ideas for dealing w hard days? Anything that brings you relief thats not food? Comedy recommendations also appreciated! Thank you :)

Well, i was guna make a reddit post bc i ddnt wanna bother my dr but then was like yk what? I would probably feel a lot more confident in his answer than a bunch of strangers answers lol. I’m learning it’s okay to take up space in offices and ask professionals for help! That’s why they’re here right?😅

I could use some ideas of how to keep hope for a better future alive. I think hope is a very important thing to have but I’ve been running a little low on it.

Do you read positive stories? Or use affirmations? Any hopeful book or movie recommendations? Thank you

I posted a thirst trap bikini pic on my Instagram story and he liked it and DMed me (at night :/ ) He hasn’t ever done that in the past 2.5 yrs, and i would post just hoping he’d at least view it lol. I’m at my lowest weight (borderline underweight) bc of chronic jaw pain lmfao. The validation did feel good for a bit, even thought maybe the pain is worth it? But then i realized like congrats, a guy finds u fckable. :/ and no im not guna even hu w him bc my jaw hurts hahaha

I just finished Viktor Frankl's "Mans search for meaning", for those of you unfamiliar with it it is an autobiography of a psychiatrist who was sent to a nazi concentration camp and survived. He gives a first hand account of how people acted and reacted in such a place, and his own view of the world through such suffering and how he found meaning within his life.

This sentence made me think of Alan Watts when reading the book, "I consider it a dangerous misconception of mental hygiene to assume that what man needs in the first place is equilibrium, or as it is called "homeostasis", ie a tensionless state. What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for a worthwhile goal, a freely chosen task"

One of his main arguments is that man needs a future goal to live, those without future goals succumbed to lifelessness, they had to force their minds to think about the future in order to survive in such a place. For him it was the thought of reuniting with his wife and finishing his book, those prisoners who had no future goals gave up and died either due to suicide or disease/malnutrition. He does note that his survival was dependent on pure luck and circumstance as well, but makes strong arguments for the fact that man needs to have faith in the future to have meaning in his life, "Prisoner who lost faith in the future was doomed".

I know Alan Watts talks about living in the present and how the present is the only thing that exists, but in a place such as a concentration camp the mental escape of dreaming about a future was often the only thing that kept them going. Watts also discussed the meaninglessness of life (in a positive way) and the tension in human minds, whereas Frankl's main argument was that man needs a meaning and 'tension' to survive and be happy.

Alan Watts also talks about how our choices are not necessarily our own, they spring up spontaneously in the mind, however Frankl argues that the last freedom any man has is in choosing how to react to a certain set of circumstances, ie walking into the gas chamber with his head held high, suffering with dignity, sharing his last piece of bread while starving. Frankl places a lot of importance on the fact that man choses how he may act, and it is *not* predetermined by anything, it is a freedom we are all granted.

Idk, id love to hear other people’s thoughts if they’ve read this book and Watts’ books. I’ll admit it’s been awhile since i read AW but i have read many. Or even opinions if you haven’t read this book, i just think i probably didn’t sum it up well enough haha

Sorry if I’m not allowed to post here but I’m just at a loss. I’ve had 2 jaw PT sessions to address chronic jaw pain and really struggling w locating the medial pterygoid.

She said my medial pterygoid is swollen and spasming and that i HAVE to massage it daily. She showed me where it is w her finger but by the time i get home I’m unable to relocate it and not sure what it should feel like, where to find it. I’ve googled “how to palpate medial pterygoid” and watched tons of videos but still can’t seem to get it.

She made it seem like if I’m unable to massage this muscle i won’t get better. I want to get better. Today i tried pressing around somewhere back there but think i just made things worse bc it feels a lot worse :(

Ive been assigned a weekly 3 month plan and given an “excellent” prognosis, but i assume thats only if i can the exercises right. The other exercises are stretching the jaw, and focusing on good posture.

Any advice on how to massage the medial pterygoid (n just find it in the first place ahah) would be greatly appreciated, i will def keep asking her to show me each week too. Thank you.