Been gone but been hard at work , things get better !
I once thought that I was always going to be this parasite to the world that I was most
Of my life in my mind. I thought I had nothing to
Give , nothing to gain , just coast and make it through the day was always my motto when I was clean.
I would relapse every 6 months and be right back , selling drugs , selling my everything , gone with the wind . I took 11 years the other day , shit gets better !!! Trust me each year it really does get easier after that 6 month mark. After that 18 month mark it really does! I tried 17 rehabs and never made it past the 18 month mark !! Because it really is that hard in the start !! It’s like when you climb a mountain , the final trek is always the easiest , it’s that middle start point that always sucks ass lol!
Some may say I am still doing bad because I am a male model and now make money with me just being me ! To me that’s amazing and always been something I never even thought was possible
Because of how ugly I was inside always , the outside showed the same thing .
I now love life and cherish each day , shit is hard and still really tough but the small moments , are always what gets me through
It . Sorry I have been gone , when I started this recovery group I was heavily involved and even stayed on the phone with a handful of people for hours just talking to keep us both clean , I have been thinking, I want to start some kind of 24/h line where people can call like minded people just to talk !
Anyways I love you all and I hope you see the little tiny light at the end of the tunnel , just like I do , we can do this !!!! We got this shit !!