u/Short_jesse

I had a small collection of clothes that I used to wear at night in my room. It was something I did maybe once a week. It helped me calm down and feel good. Nobody knew about it.

I kept the clothes in a small drawer and kept the key in my bag. As far as I know, nobody knew where I kept the key.

About two weeks ago, I opened the drawer and all of the clothes were gone. Other things like my college papers and files were still there. Only those clothes were gone. Nobody confronted me about it then and nobody has said anything about it since.

I panicked at first and spent the night imagining every possible scenario...who found them, how they found the key, whether someone had seen me wearing them, etc. I became restless.

It could be my mom but I have absolutely no proof. A few days later, she specifically called me to help her make momo. I thought maybe she'll bring that topic now and I'll have to come out clean. But she didn't say anything about it. Nothing happened.

Nobody acted suspicious and eventually I stopped thinking about it. But today I wanted to dress again, and obviously I don't have the clothes anymore. That brought the whole thing back into my head.

Now I'm panicking again. It's not about the clothes. Someone apparently knows about something I have kept extremely private, and I have no idea who.

Same as title.

After breaking up - patching up 4 times in the last 3 months, finally it's ending.

I was at one of the lowest points of my life when I met him. I was isolated, dealing with health issues, fighting with family, and barely had anything positive going on. I found him through social media, we started talking, and met about 10 days later.

It was my first time meeting someone. I thought we would just sit beside each other and talk. He kissed me almost immediately. I remember feeling sensations in my stomach. It was my first kiss and completely unexpected, but I didn't regret it then.

He wanted something more but I denied and he respected it.

The first 6 months were genuinely romantic and amazing. We both were very affectionate and I thought I'd found my person.

Then he moved away for college and long distance started. He used to spend time with his new friends. It's fine but he stopped giving me time. I would beg for even 5 minutes to talk, he'd tell me to 'act my age' as I'm older than him. He also repeatedly asked to open the relationship because his needs weren't being met. During my final exams, I was even willing to travel 300km to see him because of this, although he later said it wasn't necessary.

The first time I really saw things differently was when a friend sent me pictures from his first date. He saw those pictures too and started crying. He was clearly jealous for no reason. Then I started noticing more things. Jealousy and insecurities. He used to act like the superior one. If anything didn't go his way, he used to throw things and cry.

During fights, he used to say whatever he wanted and cut the call. I had to sit with my feelings, never got a chance to express how I felt. I couldn't sleep because he didn't let me express myself. Even when I did, I was told I was immature.

Slowly I started realizing that he was not taking this relationship seriously even during those amazing first 6 months. I was just blind. He used to say we might not have a future together but let's see what happens. Also got to know that when we first met, he had broken up with his ex just 3 days ago.

He'd only remember me when he needed support otherwise he used to spend all his time with his new friends. I was tired. Eventually I was losing romantic feelings. And didn't want to chat with him. Ironically, he then started losing most of his friends . Only then he started messaging and calling me regularly. But I guess it was late. I couldn't even say ' I love you' naturally anymore. He would ask me to say it and I couldn't fake it..

Now he was the one invested more as he had no one. He started calling 4/5 times a day. It was irritating. He tried everything but still I was being distant. He used to cry and beg now. Requesting me to be romantic like the starting days.

We broke up. Initially I felt relieved but the guilt pulled me back. Seeing him try everything just to get me back, his crying face. The attachment was still there. We decided to overcome this together.

But again I couldn't force myself to act lovey dovey. Also his style was still the same. Say whatever he feel but not listen to mine. We broke up and reconciled several more times. Every time his crying face made me weak.

Earlier today, we broke up again. I feel bad. He doesn't want this to end. But what's the point if I don't have romantic feelings for him anymore. I don't want to stretch it anymore. We tried.

I just wanted to vent this all out somewhere as I feel terrible. He tried everything but it was very late.

I started crossdressing when I was 13. I used to wear my mom's and sister's clothes secretly of course, click some pictures from mom's mobile post on my Facebook account on 'only me' and delete pictures from mobile.

For a long time, I thought I was just a straight crossdresser. Then in 12th grade, I felt attracted to a guy for the first time. It took me some time to accept that, but eventually I came to terms with the fact that I wasn't straight. Maybe bi?

As the years went by, I started feeling like pansexual might fit me better. At some point I just settled on calling myself queer because it felt easier than trying to force myself into a label I wasn't completely certain about.

Everything was more or less fine until last year, when I started questioning my gender too.

Some days I feel like I genuinely want to transition. I smile when I imagine myself living as a woman, looking like one, being seen as one. But then there are other days where I feel normal as a man and think I don't want to transition and start doubting everything. On those days I think maybe I'm overthinking, maybe I'm not actually trans, maybe I just like the idea.

And this constant back and forth is exhausting. Now it feels like I'm back in that same questioning phase again. First it was whether I might be bi and now it's whether I might be trans.