NDE-Spirit World-Hell
Hello all, I came across this group and thought I would share a near death experience I had.
The story itself isn’t too long, but is genuinely the most horrifying experience I have ever experienced in my life. I’ll start by saying that from a young age, about 12-13 years old, I have struggled with drug use and partying, which ultimately led to full blown addiction. When I was in my late teens I got into some trouble with the law and at 20 years old I was court ordered to attend rehab, I attended, dealt with all my charges, I got sober, went to college, started my career, and stayed sober for 4 years. After 4 years of sobriety, I slipped back into active addiction and relapsed for 3 years and during those 3 years, things went downhill for me very quick. I lost my job that I was excelling in (I was promoted twice in my first year and a half) I lost my home, my car, lost a lot of friends, and my relationship and ended up having to move back home into my parents house, where I grew up.
My bedroom was right beside my parents bedroom and they had gone to sleep one night. I was in my room getting high and ended up overdosing and dying and I can vividly remember everything. I’ll also add that this honestly wasn’t my first time overdosing, but it was the only time my heart actually came to a complete stop and the only time I experienced the afterlife - or at least a specific area of it.
I was an IV user and did a “shot” then I remember my heart starting to beat really really fast, then slow all the way down and struggle to beat at all, then it would start to beat really fast again, then slow all the way down again. I then could literally feel my heart take its last beat, as my lungs gasped for air and felt like they were closing up. As soon and my heart took that last beat, everything turned pitch black.
After everything turned black, I started falling down into the blackness, i was falling incredibly fast, and where I was falling to felt so far down because I was moving so quick and the black nothingness just kept going and going. It felt like I was falling for hours. And as I was falling I could hear my sister laughing at me (she didn’t even live in the same town as me, nor was she at my parents house that night) but it wasn’t her regular, sweet and normal laugh, it was like, a realllllyyyy scary, evil and sinister laugh, that just kept getting faster and louder, I remember feeling so scared but she just kept laughing at me, despite seeing how terrified I was. (Although I couldn’t see her, I could feel that she was watching me as she was laughing at me.)
When I finally stopped falling and hit what felt like the ground (everything was still pitch black so I couldn’t see anything) everything started spinning fast. It almost felt like a marry-go-round, the kind you would find at a park, but the spinning was 1000x faster, in pitch blackness, with my big sister sinisterly laughing at and watching me. I was begging who I thought was my big sister (we’ll call her Sally) to please help me and to please quit laughing at me, but that laugh just kept getting louder. I was begging, crying and yelling at her: “Sally, please stop laughing at me, this isn’t funny, I’m dead, why are you laughing at me? Please help me Sally.” But again, the laugh just kept getting laughing at me.
The spinning and the laughing just continued as I was crying and bawling my eyes out. It literally felt like I was down there for YEAAAARSSSS. Wherever that place was, the time there 100% moved differently. It really honestly felt like I was down there for a hundred years. (Despite my parents stating I was only out for about 10 minutes before the ambulance arrived)
I just kept crying and begging that voice to stop laughing at me. Then, I finally said: “God, Jesus, I’m am so sorry, please give me another chance” and I shit you not, AS SOON as I said that, I woke up with two paramedics leaning over me, asking me if I knew where I was, and asking me what my name was.
I spent the night in the hospital and when I got back from the hospital the next day I was using the bathroom and looked in the mirror and I had a black eye, a bruised nose and a fat lip. I asked my mom why I looked beat up and she said that when she found me on the ground after hearing a loud bang, that I was repeatedly smashing my face into the floor. Then I just stopped and quit breathing. My mom stated she has never seen anything like it, she tried stopping me and getting me to calm down, but I just repeatedly, on purpose, kept smashing my face into the floor, then I stopped, went pale and quit moving.
(FYI, I was using cocai*e, but when the doctor ran blood work, he found fentany* in my system - the stuff I bought ended up being laced.) I guess that is why my heart was speeding up and slowing down, the mixture of uppers and downers was essentially confusing my body/heart.
I know this story may not sound that scary, maybe one would have to experience it themselves to fully grasp the horror of it, but I mean it when I say it was literally THEEEE absolute most terrifying thing I have ever experienced in my life, and I still get goosebumps thinking about that laugh and that place I went. It was just pure black nothingness and terror. I hope when it’s time for me to go for good, that I never have to go back to wherever that place was.
I have told a few people about the experience, some say I was in purgatory, some say I was in hell, some say it was my consciousness creating and placing myself into that space, because I had too much guilt, a specific level of hell, some say a low vibrational space in the spirit world, and that demons or negative entities were trying to possess my body as I was dying, why I was purposely smashing my face into the floor to hurt myself. Personally, I believe that it was a form of hell, or that I was on my way there and that bad energy/spirits/demonic forces (whatever you want to call it) were there to torture, make fun of and mock me. That’s definitely what it felt like anyways!
At the end of the day though, I'm not sure it really matters where that place was, I think what really matters is that God gave me another chance to get my life together and heard my cry for help as soon as I called on his name, and forgave me for the life I was living as soon as I asked for that forgiveness. Like I said, it felt like I was down there for years, but it only took seconds for God to hear my call for help and bring me back. I actually sometimes tear up thinking about how quick he was to show me love and help me once I called on him lol. I really feel in my heart it was the Creator who really saved me, despite not even being a Christian at that time. I know a lot of folks will disagree or have their own thoughts on it, and that’s totally ok, I’m not trying to push the idea of God onto anyone, simply just sharing my own thoughts/feelings on it.
I also wanted to add, a little off topic maybe, but I hope people understand that addiction isn’t something you choose, sure, people choose to try or experiment with substances and alcohol, who hasn’t partied in their teens? But addiction is another level of use that is unbelievably hard to beat, something that can stay with and follow you around despite being sober for years. In my culture we refer to addiction as “the spirit of addiction” or “the spirit of alcohol” or “the spirit of drugs” because addiction is said to actually be a bad spirit that will continue to follow you around quietly, in hopes to consume or take advantage of you when your at your most vulnerable. I have seen a lot of things throughout my addiction over the years and can say that your soul definitely becomes more vulnerable and susceptible to low vibrational energies when you’re living that lifestyle. A part of you wants so badly to get sober, but it’s like something else or another part of you takes over control and won’t let you stop, and keeps forcing you back to the substances, even despite all the negative consequences caused by them and despite no longer wanting to use anymore.
Incase you’re wondering, I am sober again now, over 3 years.
If there’s anyone reading this that are struggling with the spirit of addiction, you can make it out, just keep fighting and trying, try ten times over again if you have to. And remember even when it feels impossible to love yourself, you are in-fact loved. ❤️