I basically told my boss to fuck off. Now I have a meeting with her and the director tomorrow. What would you do?
I’ve been working for the same company for about 5 years. Things have been getting worse for a while — the company isn’t doing well financially, there have been layoffs, and my project is basically over.
I’ve also had a very difficult relationship with my direct manager for years. There has been a lot of micromanagement, double standards and just generally unpleasant behaviour. Yesterday we finally had a very honest conversation and I basically told her that I don’t see myself staying long-term and that I’m looking for other options.
Now I’m expecting a meeting tomorrow with her and the director, and I’m honestly freaking out.
Rationally, I know I’m not in some huge danger. Worst case, things probably move towards me leaving the company, and I would likely qualify for around 9 months of unemployment benefits. I’m also not someone who has done a bad job — quite the opposite.
But my body apparently didn’t get the memo. 😅 Because of the way this manager treated me a few years ago, meetings with her still trigger this horrible anxiety. I’m basically waiting for the next attack even though I know things are different now.
I’m 45, have a PhD and 20+ years of experience, so I know I’ll eventually figure something out. But I’m still scared of being unemployed and of what tomorrow’s meeting might bring.
So… any advice, especially from people who have been through something similar? How do you stop your brain/body from treating a difficult meeting like it’s a life-or-death situation?