$350K fully remote Senior SWE vs potential $550–600K NYC offer vs unexpected internal Engineering Manager opportunity. What would you do?
I’m a Senior Software Engineer with around 10 YOE, currently working fully remotely from a relatively low-cost-of-living area.
I genuinely enjoy my current job, have a great manager, work on interesting technical problems, and have excellent work-life balance. I’m married with a young child, so the flexibility of remote work is extremely valuable to me.
Here’s my situation.
Option 1: Stay in my current role
Current TC: ~$350K, potentially ~$420K in a strong performance year.
Fully remote with excellent benefits and flexibility.
Great manager and interesting technical work.
Recent leadership reorganization has introduced some uncertainty. My manager advised me to keep my options open.
I’m on an H-1B, so job stability matters.
Option 2: External opportunity at a major financial firm
I’ve completed multiple interview rounds, and recruiting has progressed to references and senior leadership review.
Compensation discussions are around $550–600K TC. No formal offer yet.
Would require relocating my family to NYC and working in-office approximately four days a week.
Interesting engineering work with potentially significant financial upside.
I’d be giving up a remote setup that I genuinely love.
Option 3: Unexpected internal Engineering Manager opportunity
This one came completely out of nowhere.
A manager from another team approached me today. He’s moving to lead a new team and wants to recommend me to the director as his replacement.
A few things he mentioned:
Significant compensation increase compared to my current role.
It’s a hands-on management position, so I’d still get to code.
The team supports a broad range of systems and initiatives.
He personally offered to coach and mentor me through the transition.
The director would first need to approve my candidacy, and I’d then need to pass a management interview.
Nothing is guaranteed, but just being considered for this opportunity feels like a major career milestone.
I’ve spent my career as an IC and enjoy building systems. I’ve considered leadership, but I wasn’t actively planning to move into management right now.
My dilemma
A few weeks ago, I was trying to decide whether an extra ~$200K+ annually was worth relocating my family and giving up remote work.
Now I’m potentially looking at a path into engineering management, with a substantial compensation increase, while remaining at a company where I already have relationships and credibility.
I also recognize that management is a different career path, and a hands-on EM role might involve more management responsibilities and less actual coding than advertised.
Questions for experienced engineers and managers:
Would you give up a $350K fully remote role for ~$550–600K in NYC with four days in-office?
For those who transitioned from Senior SWE to Engineering Manager, was it worth it? Do you miss being an IC?
How realistic is the promise of remaining hands-on as an EM?
Would you prioritize an internal management opportunity over a significantly higher-paying external IC role?
How much would being on an H-1B and having a young family influence your decision?
I know I’m fortunate to have these possibilities, and neither new role is guaranteed. I’m just trying to think through the long-term career and lifestyle tradeoffs rather than chasing the largest compensation number.
Would appreciate perspectives from people who’ve faced similar decisions.