u/Snoo_87716

Hi everyone!

My name is Jaina Cipriano. I’m a filmmaker currently in pre-production on a narrative short film called ACTUALIZATION, which explores emetophobia (fear of vomiting) through a surreal, character-driven story.

I’ve lived with emetophobia for most of my life and am currently in a place of significant recovery (approximately 90%). This project comes directly from lived experience, and from spending years trying to understand how this specific fear shapes behavior and identity.

If you don't struggle with emetophobia this might seem silly to you but not a day has gone by in over 25 years where I did not wonder if I was going to throw up. Some days were worse than others. But the worry was always there.

I’m doing this AMA because the response to early material from the film has been unexpectedly large on Instagram, and it’s become clear that a lot of people dealing with emetophobia feel isolated or unseen. I wanted to open up a conversation here too!

We begin filming in June.

Proof:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jainastudio

Looking forward to talking with you all!

I had emetophobia for most of my life. At my worst, I was food restricting, absolutely miserable, very underweight, avoiding most social situations, and skipping things I wanted to do because I was afraid I'd get sick while I was out.

Two years ago, I got sick. I threw up for the first time in 15 years. (I was on a film set, actually, when it happened.)

I filmed a video of myself a few hours afterward, just to prove to myself it wasn't as bad as I'd spent 15 years believing. I remembered it last week and posted it on Instagram. 114,000 people watched. I didn't expect that at ALL.

I'm now in pre-production on a short film called ACTUALIZATION. It's a surreal fable about a newly pregnant woman who has to face her emetophobia. It's the story I wish existed when I was at my worst. We start filming in June. I never imagined I would be recovered enough to make a film about my biggest fear but here I am!

But today I'm not here to talk about the film. I'm here because I have a lot of lived experience I've never really shared publicly.

Ask me anything:

• What recovery actually looked like for me (it wasn't linear)
• How emetophobia affected my career as a filmmaker
• The moment I threw up and what happened after
• How I told people close to me about it
• What I'd tell myself at my worst
• What making ACTUALIZATION is bringing up emotionally
• Literally anything!!!

I'll be answering for the next 24 hours. This is a safe space and so is my inbox!

I had emetophobia for most of my life. At my worst, I was food restricting, very underweight, avoiding most social situations, and skipping things I wanted to do because I was afraid I'd get sick while I was out.

Two years ago, I got sick. I threw up for the first time in 15 years. (I was on a film set, actually, when it happened.)

I filmed a video of myself a few hours afterward, just to prove to myself it wasn't as bad as I'd spent 15 years believing. I remembered it last week and posted it on Instagram. 114,000 people watched. I didn't expect that at ALL.

I'm now in pre-production on a short film called ACTUALIZATION. It's a surreal fable about a newly pregnant woman who has to face her emetophobia. It's the story I wish existed when I was at my worst. We start filming in June. I never imagined I would be recovered enough to make a film about my biggest fear but here I am!

But today I'm not here to talk about the film. I'm here because I have a lot of lived experience I've never really shared publicly.

Ask me anything:

• What recovery actually looked like for me (it wasn't linear)
• How emetophobia affected my career as a filmmaker
• The moment I threw up and what happened after
• How I told people close to me about it
• What I'd tell myself at my worst
• What making ACTUALIZATION is bringing up emotionally
• Literally anything!!!

I'll be answering for the next 24 hours. This is a safe space and so is my inbox!