u/SpaceCadet_OwO

Hey all. A couple months ago I posted about my terrible time taking my local msf course and how much it left me feeling defeated. I just wanted to give yall an update on everything. If you wanna read it here it is.

Since then my husband manged to get a used 2019 yamaha r3 and to get his license from the dmv. I also managed to get my learners permit. Hes been riding every chance he gets. He talked me into being his backpack and at first I was absolutely terrified but now Im getting a lot more comfortable feeling the speed and the wind. Hell just being backpack makes me really understand how leaning, counter steering and how the bikes moves in general.

Right now our msf course isn't running because its waaaaay too hot. But the other day my husband started wanted me to get comfortable actually riding again. Ill be honest, I was anxious. I thought I was gonna do terrible, drop the bike, fall, stall, do everything I did wrong in my msf course but i told myself that the worst had already happened and how bad could it be.

We went to a big opened parking lot around a bunch of unused warehouses so I had ample room. He started off walking me through the friction zone of the bike which was one of the bigger issues I had trouble with during the course and I honestly did great? I managed to get up to first gear idle speeds with my legs up on the pegs and it was fun and easy. I even managed to give it a little throttle and make it up to 10mph without feeling anxious or terrified like in my msf course.

That really gave a boost to my confidence. The r3 is a lot lighter than the sportster I used at the course. I think i really just needed a lot more time getting use to the friction zone than the msf course gave me, plus being in a much better headspace helped a lot. I plan to do more practicing throughout the summer, then go back yo do my msf course in the fall once it cools down and my risk of heat stroke/heat exhaustion is lower. I really feel like i can do this now and im so excited and ready to keep practicing.

Hey all. If you've seen my previous post where i was sounding like a whiny ass lunatic, here's a more sound of mind and stable update.

First thank you too everybody that read and commented. I had just taken a Xanax before typing that post out so if it read weird and disconnected thats why. I dont post much on reddit and when i do post dont get as much attention as that one did. Seeing random strangers perspectives on the whole thing really helped sober up my brain. Some of yall were harsh and I needed to hear that. I was in fact crying on the internet over something that was honestly in hindsight, not a big deal.

Second, one of rhe coaches reached out to me. He said he also does one on one fundamental training which he thinks i would excel at. He and I both think I just wasn't grasping fundamentals as quick as the rest of the class and to figure it out at my own speed would be a lot more helpful. Ive watched countless videos online and know logically how to work the clutch but I just didn't have enough time to put it into practice for me to really feel it.

He also, like many of you said, believes the bikes the used were way to big and heavy for me. He wishes they could use something smaller but those are the only options they have at that specific Harley. Luckily his one on one's uses like 250cc yamahas so he thinks ill do a lot better on those.

My husband also ended up just getting his permit which was incredibly easy and believes that for right now that is the best thing for me to do. Once I get mine we'll practice in empty parking lots along with doing the one on ones so I can take it at my speed. Im still in the process of healing (a lot of muscle aches and fatigue) but after I get better were gonna do that.

Again, thank you to everybody that read and commented. You all really helped but my brain on straight.

Everything that could've went wrong during my first day at msf course went wrong.

I went in with a good head and attitude. I was excited. My period started the day before but I prepared with taking some Tylenol before leaving me house. I was cramping slightly but it was alright.

I get there and im the only woman in a full class of ten. Im very petit, 5'3 and 110< because im Goin through some unresolved health issues that is causing me to lose weight. A little discouraged by being the only woman because it felt like I didnt belong. It was taking place at my city's local Harley dealership where it alright feels like I dont belong, but I move past it and tell myself I can do it. My husband is here in the class with me and it makes me feel like I can do this.

During the quick little intro before starting on the bikes my cramps are getting worse despite taking the Tylenol an hour before. I suck it up. I deal with these all the time and with the pain meds on deck or should be fine. Wrong. We get out there and starting familiarizing ourselves with the training bikes. They're all Harleys because we're at Harley. There's two types, a heavy 500cc black one with a lower seat and a 400cc Grey one with a high seat. Because of my height I choose the black one so I can be feet flat on the ground but that shit was so heavy. I was straing with moving it during the first exercise. Its a hot day and I'm on ssris so I'm really intolerant to heat. The cramps are getting worse and im feeling like utter shit during the first break but I cant quit now because everybody is going to think something. I gotta stick it out.

After first break we move on to the third exercise and thats when it gets rough. My cramps are causing me excruciating pain. Its only been 3 hours since I took my last pain meds. I cant take I ibuprofen because of some stomach issues so I can't stagger them like I use to for times like this. I took 1000mg of Tylenol and I cannot take anymore until after 6 hours so I'm stuck. The sun is getting higher and im getting hotter and my vision is getting blurry every now and then but I cant quit because everybody is obviously gonna see that the only woman is the one who gives up, what else is new? Because of her "period cramps", of course since women always use that excuse. So I stick it out because I can hold my own and I can do this. I can die when I'm done and home.

Im doing awful and I cant focus. I keep dropping the bike or stalling it out. I really want a break but I canf because we're still doing the exercise. Im in agony and im sweating through everything. Im holding up the exercise. I get told to switch bikes with my husband since he took the Grey one but it didn't help. I put on a smile when I talk to coaches cause I can't show them that I'm not doing good because then theyll know im just a weak woman. I can barely park my bike before coaches and the other to break and asking me what's wrong. I just say im just overthinking and getting frustrated (I was) but not able my debilitating period cramps or that i think im in the stages of heat exhaustion. I put on a smile and just say I need a break and they tell me I'll be fine with being on the bike for the day since I dont look comfortable and talk about options to come back again. They were so nice but I cant let them know the real reason. My husband is so there so I can't leave so I sit in the shade and proceed to die.

Im fighting cramps trying not to vomit and everybody finishes up the next couple exercises. My husband knows something is wrong but hes whisked away because the group is going inside the dealership. After I while I try to follow but when I try and stand up I'm seeing stars and my vision is going out. I sit back down and text my husband something is wrong. Im all alone feeling like im going to die and also bleeding through my tampon. I feel like im barely conscious when he comes and helps me into the car. I definitely had heat exhaustion. He took me home.

I felt like such a failure. I feel like such a failure. Like maybe if I just stuck it out and focused more I would've at least got through the day. Maybe if I planned better I would've scheduled to a time where I know my period wouldnt happen. I would have drank more water the day before. I should've just been able to do it and instead I embarrassed myself and showed everybody there how weak I was despite trying to be strong. I really don't even want to go back and i don't think riding is for me anymore. I was so excited and I ruined it. Everything I read about the msf course said it was fun and great and everybody passes unless theyre really bad and I guess I fall into that really bad category. I feel bad for ruining my husband's chances on getting his endorsement because he missed his second day to take care of me since I was having a severe panic attack for most of the second day. He was so excited about being on a bike again and I took that away from him and made his wait longer. He says he doesn't care about the damn bike and that he wants me to be okay but I still feel like I stole some joy from him and myself. I dont even wanna think about bikes anymore