u/Special-Answer-7110

It all started with a joke i didn't undarstand. A meme about how someone died from having too many teeth. I didn't think much of it. Now I'm anxious about jokes I don't understand.

At the time my mother discovered her overbearing parenting style was uneffective and switched to just not giving a shit. So I dropped out of school and started working at the local Carls Junior.

One day when I was smoking with my colleagues, they started talking about extra teeth killing people. I asked

– What the fuck are you talking about?

So they explained it to me: worldwide people started reporting extra teeth growing on random parts of their bodies. Sometimes they could grow on the inside, cutting through organs and flesh. Some people died from internal bleeding. A tooth could grow on your hand and it would be harmless. It could also grow on the back of your head and cut off the oxygen from your brain. They showed me a picture. It was gross but unconvincing.

Then suddenly the tooth plague became a reality. The state imposed quarantine. People still went outside. Hospitals and morgues were full. I heard that patient zero turned out to be some photographer in the North Pole. He fell under the ice and a prehistoric amoeba crawled into his brain.

My parents did not believe we were all gonna die.

– Just do as doctors say and it will be fine.

Doctors were saying that bacteria passed in unclear water and were getting into humans through the eyes. They recommended avoiding rain and wearing swimming goggles at all times.

Some activist wanted to prove it was bullshit. He posted a video in which he submerged into a swamp. It was funny. Later he suffocated when teeth grew through his lungs. That was even funnier. I was acting like it was stupid, but I still wore my goggles.

I turned 18. My father put candles in a burger, then I went outside and drank beer with my former classmate. My glasses pressed too hard. I took them off. It rained. Next day I was an adult.

An adult with a strange pain in the left eye. I paced around in a bathroom reading symptoms of the tooth plague.   At all added up.   I realised I was dying and couldn't breathe. Now it seems kinda funny. Even if I grew a tooth somewhere I don't know where.

Half a year later roomers began to circulate about the pill that would prevent tooth plague symptoms. It shattered to sand the first subject's bones, but they fixed it quickly. Teeth mostly killed newborns and old people so I decided not to bother.

I moved out and rented an apartment with some friends. I started to smoke. We all drank a lot and everybody got some shitty jobs.

My ex-classmate texted me: our biology teacher died from late discovered teeth in her brain. She was one of the good ones and I wanted to see if I got scared of a dead body. So I went to her funeral. The ceremony was poorly attended. Her daughter cried. Other than that, it went quieter than I expected. It was a closed-cascet funeral.

My friends and I had a falling out. I moved back to my parents. I quit smoking for the first time. Met a girl. Now it's hard to remember exactly how long we've been together. Before acid rains, so it has probably been about five years now.

Where I live we almost don't get acid storms. So when I walk past homeless people with flesh melting off their faces I have to remind myself: I'm lucky, they're not. That's life.

Sometimes before bed or on my way to work I become nostalgic for the teeth plague. Yes, people died and it really was a dark time. But somehow I can't help myself.

It all started with a joke i didn't undarstand. A meme about how someone died from having too many teeth. At the time, I didn't think much of it. Now I'm anxious about jokes I don't understand.

At the time my mother discovered her overbearing parenting style was uneffective and switched to just not giving a shit. So I dropped out of school and started working at the local Carls Junior.

One day when I was smoking with my colleagues, they started talking about extra teeth killing people. I asked

– What the fuck are you talking about?

So they explained it to me: worldwide people started reporting extra teeth growing on random parts of their bodies. Sometimes they could grow on the inside, cutting through organs and flesh. Some people died from internal bleeding. A tooth could grow on your hand and it would be harmless. It could also grow on the back of your head and cut off the oxygen from your brain. They showed me a picture. It was gross but unconvincing.

Then suddenly the tooth plague became a reality. The state imposed quarantine. People still went outside. Hospitals and morgues were full. I heard that patient zero turned out to be some photographer in the North Pole. He fell under the ice and a prehistoric amoeba crawled into his brain.

My parents did not believe we were all gonna die.

– Just do as doctors say and it will be fine.

Doctors were saying that bacteria passed in unclear water and were getting into humans through the eyes. They recommended avoiding rain and wearing swimming goggles at all times.

Some activist wanted to prove it was bullshit. He posted a video in which he submerged into a swamp. It was funny. Later he suffocated when teeth grew through his lungs. That was even funnier. I was acting like it was stupid, but I still wore my goggles.

I turned 18. My father put candles in a burger, then I went outside and drank beer with my former classmate. My glasses pressed too hard. I took them off. It rained. Next day I was an adult.

An adult with a strange pain in the left eye. I paced around in a bathroom reading symptoms of the tooth plague.   At all added up.   I realised I was dying and couldn't breathe. Now it seems kinda funny. Even if I grew a tooth somewhere I don't know where.

Half a year later roomers began to circulate about the pill that would prevent tooth plague symptoms. It shattered to sand the first subject's bones, but they fixed it quickly. Teeth mostly killed newborns and old people so I decided not to bother.

I moved out and rented an apartment with some friends. I started to smoke. We all drank a lot and everybody got some shitty jobs.

My ex-classmate texted me: our biology teacher died from late discovered teeth in her brain. She was one of the good ones and I wanted to see if I got scared of a dead body. So I went to her funeral. The ceremony was poorly attended. Her daughter cried. Other than that, it went quieter than I expected. It was a closed-cascet funeral.

My friends and I had a falling out. I moved back to my parents. I quit smoking for the first time. Met a girl. Now it's hard to remember exactly how long we've been together. Before acid rains, so it has probably been about five years now.

Where I live we almost don't get acid storms. So when I walk past homeless people with flesh melting off their faces I have to remind myself: I'm lucky, they're not. That's life.

Sometimes before bed or on my way to work I become nostalgic for the teeth plague. Yes, people died and it really was a dark time. But somehow I can't help myself.

It all started with a joke i didn't undarstand. A meme about how someone died from having too many teeth. At the time, I didn't think much of it. Now I'm anxious about jokes I don't understand.

At the time my mother discovered her overbearing parenting style was uneffective and switched to just not giving a shit. So I dropped out of school and started working at the local Carls Junior.

One day when I was smoking with my colleagues, they started talking about extra teeth killing people. I asked

– What the fuck are you talking about?

So they explained it to me: worldwide people started reporting extra teeth growing on random parts of their bodies. Sometimes they could grow on the inside, cutting through organs and flesh. Some people died from internal bleeding. A tooth could grow on your hand and it would be harmless. It could also grow on the back of your head and cut off the oxygen from your brain. They showed me a picture. It was gross but unconvincing.

Then suddenly the tooth plague became a reality. The state imposed quarantine. People still went outside. Hospitals and morgues were full. I heard that patient zero turned out to be some photographer in the North Pole. He fell under the ice and a prehistoric amoeba crawled into his brain.

My parents did not believe we were all gonna die.

– Just do as doctors say and it will be fine.

Doctors were saying that bacteria passed in unclear water and were getting into humans through the eyes. They recommended avoiding rain and wearing swimming goggles at all times.

Some activist wanted to prove it was bullshit. He posted a video in which he submerged into a swamp. It was funny. Later he suffocated when teeth grew through his lungs. That was even funnier. I was acting like it was stupid, but I still wore my goggles.

I turned 18. My father put candles in a burger, then I went outside and drank beer with my former classmate. My glasses pressed too hard. I took them off. It rained. Next day I was an adult.

An adult with a strange pain in the left eye. I paced around in a bathroom reading symptoms of the tooth plague.   At all added up.   I realised I was dying and couldn't breathe. Now it seems kinda funny. Even if I grew a tooth somewhere I don't know where.

Half a year later roomers began to circulate about the pill that would prevent tooth plague symptoms. It shattered to sand the first subject's bones, but they fixed it quickly. Teeth mostly killed newborns and old people so I decided not to bother.

I moved out and rented an apartment with some friends. I started to smoke. We all drank a lot and everybody got some shitty jobs.

My ex-classmate texted me: our biology teacher died from late discovered teeth in her brain. She was one of the good ones and I wanted to see if I got scared of a dead body. So I went to her funeral. The ceremony was poorly attended. Her daughter cried. Other than that, it went quieter than I expected. It was a closed-cascet funeral.

My friends and I had a falling out. I moved back to my parents. I quit smoking for the first time. Met a girl. Now it's hard to remember exactly how long we've been together. Before acid rains, so it has probably been about five years now.

Where I live we almost don't get acid storms. So when I walk past homeless people with flesh melting off their faces I have to remind myself: I'm lucky, they're not. That's life.

Sometimes before bed or on my way to work I become nostalgic for the teeth plague. Yes, people died and it really was a dark time. But somehow I can't help myself.

It all started with a joke i didn't undarstand. A meme about how someone died from having too many teeth. At the time, I didn't think much of it. Now I'm anxious about jokes I don't understand.

At the time my mother discovered her overbearing parenting style was uneffective and switched to just not giving a shit. So I dropped out of school and started working at the local Carls Junior.

One day when I was smoking with my colleagues, they started talking about extra teeth killing people. I asked

– What the fuck are you talking about?

So they explained it to me: worldwide people started reporting extra teeth growing on random parts of their bodies. Sometimes they could grow on the inside, cutting through organs and flesh. Some people died from internal bleeding. A tooth could grow on your hand and it would be harmless. It could also grow on the back of your head and cut off the oxygen from your brain. They showed me a picture. It was gross but unconvincing.

Then suddenly the tooth plague became a reality. The state imposed quarantine. People still went outside. Hospitals and morgues were full. I heard that patient zero turned out to be some photographer in the North Pole. He fell under the ice and a prehistoric amoeba crawled into his brain.

My parents did not believe we were all gonna die.

– Just do as doctors say and it will be fine.

Doctors were saying that bacteria passed in unclear water and were getting into humans through the eyes. They recommended avoiding rain and wearing swimming goggles at all times.

Some activist wanted to prove it was bullshit. He posted a video in which he submerged into a swamp. It was funny. Later he suffocated when teeth grew through his lungs. That was even funnier. I was acting like it was stupid, but I still wore my goggles.

I turned 18. My father put candles in a burger, then I went outside and drank beer with my former classmate. My glasses pressed too hard. I took them off. It rained. Next day I was an adult.

An adult with a strange pain in the left eye. I paced around in a bathroom reading symptoms of the tooth plague.   At all added up.   I realised I was dying and couldn't breathe. Now it seems kinda funny. Even if I grew a tooth somewhere I don't know where.

Half a year later roomers began to circulate about the pill that would prevent tooth plague symptoms. It shattered to sand the first subject's bones, but they fixed it quickly. Teeth mostly killed newborns and old people so I decided not to bother.

I moved out and rented an apartment with some friends. I started to smoke. We all drank a lot and everybody got some shitty jobs.

My ex-classmate texted me: our biology teacher died from late discovered teeth in her brain. She was one of the good ones and I wanted to see if I got scared of a dead body. So I went to her funeral. The ceremony was poorly attended. Her daughter cried. Other than that, it went quieter than I expected. It was a closed-cascet funeral.

My friends and I had a falling out. I moved back to my parents. I quit smoking for the first time. Met a girl. Now it's hard to remember exactly how long we've been together. Before acid rains, so it has probably been about five years now.

Where I live we almost don't get acid storms. So when I walk past homeless people with flesh melting off their faces I have to remind myself: I'm lucky, they're not. That's life.

Sometimes before bed or on my way to work I become nostalgic for the teeth plague. Yes, people died and it really was a dark time. But somehow I can't help myself.