I finally did it...
Hey everybody.
I'm not going to go into too much story building to share my story, but here we go:
Due to budget issues, many programs that "my" kids have come to rely upon to get them through a school day have been otherwise cut, restructured, or put on hold until further notice. One of those programs happened to be my elementary level performing arts program (due to position consolidation for retirement)....one that I spent 1/4 of my life building from the ground floor up, and one that has won state level awards. I was given this news in March of this past school year.
Something broke in me. Knowing the amount of time, labor, sweat, blood, late nights, and extra unpaid hours went into building this program, I lost it. I was told "at least you're still employed" and that further fueled the fire to get out. I ended the year on a high note by putting on the best, most ambitious concert that my kids have ever performed.
I spent the past 8 months looking for a position (outside of teaching) that would allow me to get my head back on straight and to reevaluate myself. Well, that happened this past week. I put in my 30 day notice today.
I accepted a position at a local assisted living facility (not a nursing home....a ritzy, private, pay-per-week place) as their activities director; something that I am very excited about. Yes, it was a pay cut, but only slightly, and the benies aren't as good, but I consider it blood money to get my sanity back. Old folks need artistic enrichment too, and it's a much easier pace.
I am going to sorely miss my kids and my colleagues. For a long time (too long, perhaps), I built my life around them and their achievements, while forgetting what was really important to me: creative freedom and family. I lost myself in the teaching (something that I warn new teachers about all the time), while forgetting what I was really aiming to do.
I am so fucking nervous about everything, but I know that, in the end, it will work out.
If you are struggling, it's never too late to walk away. You will find something that suits you, and maybe even fill your cup at the same time.
For now, I'm going to try to enjoy the rest of my summer vacation and try not to think about what has happened to my career. It will take a while, but I'll get there.
Thanks for reading.
-Spooky1984