Weddings have become so unenjoyable for guests :(
Just came home from my 4th wedding of the year (and it's not even mid-year yet). Compared to five years ago, weddings feel more like debuts than ever. And one thing I can say is: weddings are now a chore, especially if you're an entourage member. And they're all the same, beat for beat.
The popularity of the "your wedding, your rules" mindset has made wedding couples over-demanding. It's not enough to dedicate a whole day to them anymore. I've had to pay for bachelorette parties, despedidas, wedding gifts, my own gown, makeup & hair, accommodation and transport. As entourage members, more than ever, we're being treated as unpaid coordinators. There is now an expectation to assist the couple even when booking suppliers, and if you don't capitulate to every single demand, you're labeled as a bad friend.
Even worse is I've noticed how rude and entitled suppliers act, from the coordinator to the photographer to the makeup crew. We were told off for joking with the bride and "distracting" her (wtf?) but had to force fake laughter when on video. People in the prep room were banned from talking outright because they were filming video segments. During the wedding rehearsal, people were yelled at for making small talk. "Kailangan solemn" daw. I've witnessed a powertripping makeup artist block a bride's mom from visiting her while she was having her makeup done. "It disrupts the process," she said, without an ounce of irony. Wtf? What happened to having fun celebrating the couple? Why is the "First look" so popular now, as it's just another cringeworthy trend that further treats the entourage and family like props?
Half the weddings I attended required guests to rush between three venues. So many churches were hot, don't even have kneeling pads, and weren't PWD-friendly. Limited parking caused delays. Entourage members barely had time to eat at all. People had to stand and pose for hours under the blistering heat. Senior guests were getting dizzy. Outdoor ceremonies were the worst because you sit there in a stuffy gown feeling sweat trickle down your legs, with the sun shining directly in your eyes. And it's all just for "aesthetic".
SDEs are now fullblown documentaries -- and again, they're filled with nothing but fake moments instead of organic interactions between friends and family. And those montages where guests who are ill/live too far have to apologize to the couple for not being at the wedding, who the hell ever thought this was a good thing to play to a crowd of people? I don't think they even realize their videos are being played in front of an audience. Even cancer patients in their hospital beds 1000 km away aren't exempt from this performative BS, apparently.
It's just too much at this point. The rules (wear this color even if you have to buy a completely new outfit, wear a suit in Philippine weather in a church without airconditioning, wear Filipiniana or else, no kids, post with hashtags, play this embarrassing game, prepare a dance number, etc), the sad mimicry of "heartwarming" moments, the obsession with food carts, the overstuffed program (including ungodly prep times, then cocktails in between the church ceremony and reception, and then afterparty pa). I get it, it's the couple's day, but just a reminder that seeing as guests are essential to throwing these big celebrations, at least try to make it fun and comfortable for them, too.