u/Square_Role_4345

I've seen people discuss the "Oh. Oh." and whether you like it or not, it's become a staple of fanfiction. When I started reading/writing fanfiction aound 15 years ago, I would see them everywhere. I stopped for a long time and came back to it recently. A lot of things changed, but I still enjoy fanfiction! But its so strange because I haven't been seeing "Oh, oh" as much as I used to. Its been evading me! I don't read as many fics as I used to, but I couldn't understand why I couldn't find it at all.

And then I was reading a fic last night and BAM! The elusive italicised oh winked at me in the middle of the fic! Nostalgia rushed over me so much I had to put the fic down for a minute!

It's not a big deal, but its been so long since I've felt that kind of excitement of seeing something commonly talked about in the wild again. It's nice to reminisce on the good old days sometimes. :)

I know the series basically covers that every character has some sort of bias or prejudice towards another race or people in a different area from them. It's honestly a great world building detail because many of them are too proud or ignorant of others based on a lack of knowledge or lack of the ability to easily and quickly travel and learn of other people.

But I've seen a few people call out Kabru specifically on being racist, even though, to me, he seems to be the most open minded because of how much he likes to learn about humans.

He's the one who brought a more gounded idea of what the Kobult country is currently like to the Touden siblings and then was aware enough to know they were mistreating the people who lived in the mountains near their original home. He was also the one who knew enough about how they differentiated humans vs monster when he was talking to Shuro's crew about how Oni were humans. With all of this he's the last person I'd call racist because he only really had a hate toward monsters and people who seem untrustworthy.

I'm not saying he still doesn't have a bias, but Im wondering why is he the one that some people are the first to call racist. And I'm not trying to make a firm statement about Kabru or anything, I'm just genuinely curious if I missed a side comic, misunderstand something, or completely forgot a part of his character development.

So for like the past month I've had different one shot or multi chapter fic ideas and every time I think about attempting to write them I get...scared, I think is the feeling?

I think about the idea and how to actually format it in writing. I'm excited and passionate about the story, enough to make me think I would like to write it down. But when I think about when I'll sit down to do it, I'm just instantly washed over with a mild sense of dread and then completely abandon the thought of doing it. And it's weird because I've been writing fan fiction for years. This is a very recent thing.

I've thought it might be the fear of publishing it, so I could just write it for myself, but that doesn't change anything. Then I decide it can be a first draft to give myself permission to make mistakes, but that doesn't work either.

It already takes so much effort for me to set aside time, take out my laptop, and sit down to actually write something that I've thought about for so long, so the idea that I finally get to the action of creation and get too psyched out to write makes me really sad.

I don't understand why this is happening. Has anyone ever experienced this before or do I have some subconscious issues I need to uncover? 😭