u/Starship_Commander

Has The Cornelius Lawson White Jr. Phone Crisis Been Fully Resolved?

I've been somewhat pre-occupied over the weekend with our upcoming vacation, so I've missed hearing large swaths of Coast. I did understand that the citizens of planet Earth successfully re-established contact with Cornelius. However, like much in the life of Mr. White, there are still questions that remain.

Example: Why exactly were the reasons he was not able to irritate we loyal listeners for an entire week? Was it because he neglected to pay his landline phone bill? Did the battery in his cordless phone suddenly go dead as he sat endlessly on hold for George to put him on? Why?

I did read that AT&T is enthusiastically removing copper lines in many states, including Louisiana. In fact, employees of that corporation-- who are also listeners of Coast-- may have zeroed in on Corny's neighborhood first. But that may simply be my own dream.

Lastly, if Cornelius must transition to an Android or iPhone, conceivably how long would it take a guy who's computer literate to the era of punch cards to learn how to power-on, log-in and call a radio show on a new fangled device called a cell phone?

reddit.com
u/Starship_Commander — 10 days ago

Brother Don From Kent Ohio

If anyone knows who God's 9 Star General is (JC Webster being a 10 Star General) from Portage County, Ohio, do please post. Everytime George brings him on, he spouts biblical scripture until my brain is ready to explode. Surely this must be a radio persona. He can't be like this when he's shopping for ceiling A/C filters at Target off SR59 near the Kent State airport.

Recently I asked Google Gemini about him and low and behold, he also is a regular caller to legendary local radio station WNIR. Many people claim that WNIR died with Howie Chizek back in 2012, but I still find this hard to believe. What current radio station host would be captivated by several minutes of Don reading the Bible? Howie would have eviscerated a few seconds of Don's boring Bible readings into instantaneous oblivion.

Back in the day, Howie thrived on taking rural, hick callers out of central casting and spinning their complaints regarding modern society into pure radio gold. Chizek: "Yes kind sir, what can I do for you?" Older male with a strong backwoods accent: "Howie, I was a chaperone at our high school's senior prom. There were students using profanity on the dance floor!" Chizek: "Young people using profanity on the dance floor? What in the world is America coming to? Wash their dirty little mouths out with soap. Use Lifebuoy."

https://youtube.com/watch?v=QoIcKI_L96w

u/Starship_Commander — 28 days ago