confronted pervy guy in grocery store - did i do the right thing? worried about retaliation.
about 2 weeks ago i was walking back from a grocery store about 10 minutes away from my apartment alone with my hood up and my earphones in when i heard a really weird kissing catcalling sound. it was literally so loud and caught my attention that i took my earphones out to see where it came from and as i was looking around this really weird guy had this smirk on his face, looking around dramatically as if to sarcastically say “oh who could that have been” - obviously immediately i knew it had to have been him so i gave him the most disgusted, angry look i could muster and in return he quite literally stuck his tongue out at me and made really weird gestures with his tongue. it was so unsettling and disgusting and once i got far enough away i threw my middle finger up at him and continued walking.
it really creeped me out even though ive had more unsettling experiences with men but there was something about this that just really gave me a bad feeling and i told my roommates about it, laughing about it at first and how ridiculous it was that he stuck his tongue out at me but honestly it made me so angry.
fast forward to today, literally an hour ago, i went to a different grocery store than last time that’s super close to my apartment. and as i entered, so did he, and i immediately recognised him and jumped. i think he definitely recognised me too because he looked at me and it’s like i could see this expression of excitement on his face and he gave me this weird flirty look like he was taking me in with his eyes. i once again gave him the meanest stare and was going to go about my business when i realised he was staring at me from across the aisle and wasn’t moving. i immediately texted my house group chat asking if anyone was home to accompany me through the store and my roommate said she’d be there in 5 minutes.
during that whole 5 minutes, i stayed in the aisle and he didn’t move either. he kept picking up the same bag of oranges over and over and i would look back at times and we would make eye contact. immediately i was like, this is suspicious that he’s not going about his business, he seems to be waiting for me to start walking around so he can follow me around the shop.
my roommate eventually turned up and i filled her in and he watched me as i spoke to her. she can be combative and as i was talking, she would look at him and tell me he was watching us speak. i started to do my food shop and as soon as we moved in his direction he left to another aisle super fast but continued to keep eyes on us as we would walk by. eventually i began to get angry and as we turned a tight corner, he chose to walk beside me and made eye contact with me. so i piped up.
i confronted him and said “i remember you from last time. i recognise you and i remember what you did. if you try anything i will go straight to the police and report you.” people around the store looked up as i said this and he kept his head down and said so quietly “i don’t know what you’re talking about” my roommate said angrily “what do you mean you don’t know? you do know” and i repeated “this whole store knows as well, if you try anything i will tell the police”. we walked away and i was essentially calling him a perv super loudly as i did. like i wasn’t shouting when i said this to him, i would say i was speaking in normal volume as firm as i could. but other people definitely heard and took a look at us during the confrontation.
we then got in the line to pay and as i was checking out he joined the line too and kept catching my eye. i decided i would tell the security guard in the store about him, completely aware that the security guard wouldn’t be able to do much but i just wanted the guy to see me speak to security and point in his direction to send a message that i was not to be fucked with if that makes sense ?
anyway, speaking to the security guard was so insanely useless. but i’m hoping the optics of seeing me speak to him did something?
what i was aiming for is to scare him into just leaving me alone if he sees me again. i’ve never confronted a man like this before but what made me do it was the fact that he obviously recognised me and instead of feeling some type of shame or embarrassment seemed very ready to follow me through the store and make me uncomfortable.
i decided to come here and ask you guys if you think i did the right thing? as a survivor of childhood S/A i’m just feeling really triggered right now and scared. i was worried that if i didn’t say anything and just let him walk around eyeing me up that he would take liberty to do it again and make me uncomfortable if i saw him around again like 2 weeks ago, but also im scared that since i confronted him, my face is really in his mind now and hes going to want to retaliate somehow or i dont know if i made the situation worse for myself?
any perspectives on if i did the right thing or advice on what to do if i see him again would be super helpful as we seem to live in the same area.
thanks so much and wishing safety for u all <3