Doc with the bad news
I have a gene mutation (y deletion) in the AZFa portion which, from what i understand is the beginning portion of sperm production. This means I cannot produce sperm. Best part is that this happens in less than 1% of men and its only 3%-5% in all males who suffer y deletions. If the mutation was further down the production line, sperm retrieval would be an option but alas.
My fertility doctor told me to start thinking of alternative routes to fatherhood which was definitely a spear to the heart.
My partner has been supportive and is allowing me time to cope before we make a decision on where we wanna go next.
One of the many thing im struggling with is that i feel like this is a sign that i am never meant to be a dad, i know there are alt routes but it feels like the higher powers are telling me to sit this out one reason or another. I want to have children badly but i dont know how to shake this feeling that i am not meant to or not supposed to. If i was supposed to everything would work how its supposed to and I wouldnt have this rare mutation. Has anyone else fealt like this and it so, does it go away with time? Did you just say screw it and moved on with alt routes?
Sorry if a post like this isnt allowed, ive been lurking for a bit bc I typically work on my own problems myself but i want to get better for my wife. This has been a rollercoaster for both of us