The Chiari Reboot I Never Asked For
So I learned something last week that really made me want to throw my whole brain in the trash. Back in 2010, I had Chiari malformation decompression surgery. At the time, I was told that if I made it six years without issues, the chance of recurrence was zero. As in: "Congratulations, you’re cured, go live your life.”🥳
Fast‑forward to last week: I end up in the hospital with stroke‑like symptoms, and guess what’s back?
Recurring Chiari.
Cue the sad medical trombone.
I’m not doing another surgery. For one, I’d have to rob a bank. For another, the first one left me with lifelong neurological side effects that make the original Chiari symptoms look like a warm‑up act.💃
My main souvenir? Closed‑eye hallucinations. Not psychosis — just my brain running a bootleg IMAX behind my eyelids whenever I’m stressed. I’ve seen everything from a full‑sized tree growing in the middle of my room, to a red‑eyed cartoon rabbit, to an entire civilization rising and collapsing on my bedroom wall like a time‑lapse documentary. I’ve even seen a “different place” through my closet door, which was rude because I didn’t get to go there. And of course, the classic: catching people‑shapes in my peripheral vision like my brain is auditioning extras.🎥
They started right after surgery and never left. They’re stress‑triggered, familiar, and vanish the second I focus — very much in the “neurological glitch” category.😜
And apparently this might be genetic, because my mom had pseudotumor cerebri. So thanks, Mom. Love the family heirlooms.💗 (I love you too Mom but jeez. Couldn't we have gone with jewelry? About to call a family meeting!😘)
Anyway — has anyone else had Chiari recur after the “it literally can’t recur” window? Or long‑term neuro weirdness like the closed‑eye hallucinations? When I had my surgery, the internet was basically a tumbleweed and a forum post from 2003, so I’d love to hear from others.🥰
I hope no one finds my take on this offensive. It truly is laugh or cry right now, and I'll be damned if I'll let this new chapter in my life win! 💪