I need this to go away. Why is everything in my life about Fibromyalgia?
Any new physical problem I experience has somehow started since, is flaring up because of, or is a comorbidity of FM. Anything I like doing in my free time is limited because my wrists hurt and my shoulders can't take it. My body feels so unfit, but I can't do enough to feel fit. My relationship is suffering because of it, I have become inconsiderate and self centred. I don't have the energy anymore. It's so isolating, I don't know enough about this and how it affects me, to help my partner understand. I don't blame him, it sounds like a made up disease to someone that doesn't experience it, plus it's impossible to express. My period, my activity, my work, my social life, everything suffers because of this and nothing feels real. I don't trust doctors with diagnosis anymore, I don't trust my survival instincts because what if it just hurts because of the FM and not a broken finger? I sleep like shit, I wake up tired, I mostly have dysthimia, I am getting checked for Carpal tunnel, I have cervical. I just can't catch a break. As soon as I feel like I can push it and do enough with my day and have a life, the same exact moment is when it decides to be too much. I can not explain to people why I'm tired and sleepy and irritated. I need this to take a back seat and feel strong and powerful and like I can do something with myself sometimes. I HATE it.