u/SubstantialSeason246

Hi,

This is a throwaway account. I had a really dark day and I m spiraling mainly because I m getting lot of conflicting info.

Background story : I worked my whole life in a desk job, worked crazy hours (15-17h daily, 7days a week).

And had a really bad junk food, no exercise, heavy smoking lifestyle.

When I hit 44 I damaged my lung badly and lost both my sisters within 5 months and all felt like it was the end. Was told to stop smoking and make a change or I won't keep it for long. And I suddenly was all alone the last remnant of my family.

I decided to change it all.

I quit my job and accepted a job in a different country (Japan), stopped smoking cold turkey, got an online coach and started to focus on me and my health.

For 11 weeks it was hard but I saw progress and it made me happy.

My coach gave me weekly goals and exercise , I cooked (even took some cooking classes) I stopped any junk food and ate healthy, I even started to drink water - which I never did before.

Walked 6500 steps a day, lifted 3 times a week.

But then pain started , my coach told me it s just my body getting used to it. I kept pushing, raised weight lifting and steps , up to 10,000 a day.

I started to see huge progress within the first 11 weeks, body fat going down, I could see the shape of my biceps and shoulder, it felt good. Sore but good. I was in a much better mood and sleep better. Still my hips were painful.

Coach said it means it s working.

4 weeks ago I hurt my shoulder badly trying to catch on a barbell that dropped. My shoulder was extremely painful and had that "click click" when i rotated it.

Coach said to stop and go to doc. Went to "sport clinic" as they call them here in Japan.

Didn't get better so they send me to a actually hospital for a x-ray.

Result : Shoulder , I have some scapula issue and nerve impingement. Nothing PT wouldn't solved. While I was there I asked about my hips. We did a x ray.

That was more bad. I was diagnosed with mild OA on both joint. I had no idea what it was. But was told to lower my walk steps for now, and that basically switching so drastically from sedentary lifestyle for 35 years to hard exercise might have been one of the reason this got accelerated.

I felt like an idiot. I felt so so so stupid. And I still don't understand it all. It felt like I just broke something that is irreversible because I wanted to get in shape so badly.

I am an extreme type of guy, if I do something I do it my all. And now, I broke something forever.

I m now benched with PT for 150 days , and I don't quite understand it all. I don't yet speak fluent japanese(still learning) and using translator is a nightmare as I panic and get spiraling and the doc seems not so worried but at same time tells me, no more workout, this can't be reversed etc...

I have been looking online for the past 7 hours and chatting with both ChatGpt and Claude which is the worse idea ever. It s a mix of the nightmare news ever with a AI that tells me not to worry and ask me how am I feeling. This isn't working. I need real answers.

I m confused in so many ways I m trying to get a list of question for my doc for my next appointment which is in 3 days.

But here is why I post : I need advice and clarification. I need real people experience.

How much is this my fault? My coach? My own stupidity? I seem to read that it s not like it appears out of nowhere just because I exercise? Even if pushed through pain during weeks?

Did me trying to get back in shape quickly basically destroy my hips beyond repair?

How likely could I stay and continue (with adjustment) my return to shape? Should I just forget about it?

Should I try to think about going to a different country find another job to a country where I actually speak the language to treat it correctly?

I saw so much gain and change in my body I got addicted, is that dream to finally get back in shape basically gone? Did I do that for nothing?

How long before I will need a hip joint replacement ? Is it inevitable?

Should I just call it quit? Stop any exercise?

My doc told me slow walking is good but not 10k steps for now. I love walking, and it helps with the cigarette craving. I have been doing 8.5km every day and yes it was painful but it made me feel good about myself and stopped the smoking craving.

I know for most of you, these are some stupid questions and I am an idiot to even ask them, but internet searching has been confusing me more than it should. And waiting 3 more days is gonna drive me insane. I feel this immense sense of regret mixed with confusion.

I passed by a convenient store and saw some man smoking, I went in and bought a pack. I have been staring at it for what feels like hours. That is also why I posted here.

I don't need a pat on the back, I don't need a warm thing. I want to know the clear honest truth. How screwed am I? And how much is it my fault? Did my stupidity ruined my health without a chance to go back?

Thank you.

N.