Why do people act like asking for a schedule is rude? That's how plans work.
Genuine question and a bit of a vent, because this keeps happening.
We are planning a trip with a toddler, so everything is basically built around naps, meals, and avoiding a public meltdown. When family or friends say things like "Let's meet up sometime" or "We should do dinner while you're in town," I ask normal follow ups: what day, what time, how long, before or after nap?
Instead of a straight answer, people get weirdly offended, like I'm being intense or turning it into a transaction. Sometimes I get responses like "Why do you need to plan everything" or "Just play it by ear." But when I do play it by ear, we end up with a hungry, overtired kid and everyone is miserable.
I am not asking anyone to commit their firstborn. I just need a rough window so I can plan rides, snacks, and that one sacred nap.
So what gives socially? Do some people hear specific questions as pressure? Is "sometime" actually a polite no? Or is there an etiquette rule that I should wait before asking for details?
If you hate scheduling, what is the least annoying way for me to ask for a time without sounding like a project manager?